Urdu Latife (Urdu Jokes)

[*muslimah*]

urdu joke:
Eik admi bus stop par kahra huwa hota hain
Police wala us se poochta hain tum neh yaha se 3 choro koh jateh huwe dekha hain
Admi bohlta hain
Yaha se sida jao to 3 mohale aye gaye
pehle mohale koh choro
dusre koh choro
teesre mohale main jana
waha jah kar teen galiya aye gih
pehli koh choro
duri koh choro
teesre gali main jana
to waha 3 dukane ho gayi
pehli koh choro
dusri ko choro
teesri dukaan keh saat saat jana
to waha teen ghar aye gaye
pehle koh choro
dure koh choro
teesre ghar main jana to waha teen room aye gaye
pehle koh choro
dure koh choro
teesre main jana
waha teen cupboards aye gaye
pehle koh choro
dusre koh choro
teesre cupboards koh kohl nah
waha teen daraaz ho gaye
pehle koh chorna
dusre koh chorna
teesre koh kohl nah
waha teen pictures ho gayi
pehli pic koh chorna
duri pic koh chor nah
teesri pic koh dekh na
woh pic meri ma ki hain
aur main apni ma ki kasam kah keh kehta hoon

maine kissi choor koh nahi dekha

[Mahmud]

jajaja..

[Salema]

lol..

[Sanobar]

salaam,
i have herd this joke b4.....pretyy funy ..!lol
ma'salamah

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[Sadia25]

lol.. :D :D :)

[niqaabii]

lol
dat ws funny :D

[nafy]

hehehehe gud 1......
ok i got dis lil funny poem fingy:

tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....
tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....

ke paagalor ki stock mein neya maal aya ;)

[halupalu]

Lol Dat Wa Funny

[Danish]

:sl:

tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....
tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....

ke paagalor ki stock mein neya maal aya

lol

lakin uske ending ache nahi hay, asay hona chaeeya joke:

tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....
tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....

ke zAk ke jeeb main wAk kaha say aya... :p :p :p

[Umm Yoosuf]

Danish you understand Urdu?? Masha Allah!

[bluemoon]

good jokes.

[Intifada]

that was fuuny so funny that made my stomche laugh

lol

[Idris]

How abt u translate the joke into english :p or is too hard ;)

[Intifada]

your right it won't be funny at all

[IslamInside]

tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....
tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....

ke paagalor ki stock mein neya maal aya

hahaha bohat funny tha ! ;D

mulaheza ho :

ek ladki thi deewani si,
ek ladke pe wo marti thi
chori-chori SMS kiya karti thi,
kuch kahna tha shayad usko,
par mobile ke bill se darti thi!!!!

[IslamInside]

Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho.

Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki tum ho.

Ab tum hi batao, kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho ?

[IslamInside]

Maine poocha chand se...

Kabhi dekha hai mere yaar sa hasin.....

Chand bola.... 12036 entries found !

[IslamInside]

Macchar ne jo kata...

dil main mere junoon tha.

Khujli hui itni...

dil be sukoon tha.

Pakada to chod diya yeh soch kar ki....

sale ki ragon main apna hi khoon tha! ;D ;D ;D

[IslamInside]

Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye.

Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye.

Karu SMS ladkion ko naam tera aae.

Maar tujhe pade aur kaleja mera thanda ho jae. :p

[IslamInside]

Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi,

jise pyaar kiya woh Italy chali gayi.

Khudkhushi karne chala,

Zalim bijali ko haath lagaya, Bijali hi chali gayi. :-[

[IslamInside]

Kash tumhare chere pe chicken-pox ke daag hote,

Kash tumhare chere pe chicken-pox ke daag hote,

chand to tum ho hi, sitare bhi saath hote!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

[IslamInside]

Suraj Hua Madham ,

chand bhi chalne laga,

mein thehra raha, zamin chalne lagi,

sajna kya yehi pyaar hai ??

Nalayak, yeh pyar nahi EARTHQUAKE hai ! BHAAG !

[IslamInside]

I like this very much ;D

Jab Jab tum angdai lete ho dam hamara nikal jata hai.

Aye zalim Deodrant lagane me tumhara kya jata hai ?!

;D ;D

[IslamInside]

Aaj didar, kal yaar, parso pyar,

phir ekrar, aur phir-intzar, phir-takrar,

phir-darar, saari mehnat-bekar, aur akhir mein-Ek aur devdas at beer bar !






unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,

unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,

unhoon ne phool phainka par gamla bhi saath tha !

[IslamInside]

Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh...

[IslamInside]

Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai.. :p

[IslamInside]

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki unko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...

[IslamInside]

Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!

[IslamInside]

Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi ;D ;D

[IslamInside]

Govt. of Pakistan has introduced a new rule
---> Good Looking people should be thrown out of the country!!!
You are safe..... Where should i hide?????

[IslamInside]

Before Marriage:
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
taj mahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi milti.

After Marriage:
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
ta jmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi marti.

[IslamInside]

Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

[IslamInside]

Paida hua Wakeel (advocate) to Shaitaan nay kaha
Lo aaj main bhee Sahab-e-Aulad ho gaya.

[^..sTr!vEr..^]

:sl:
So truuuuuuuuuuee!! akhi!!

especially paki advocates...

ne way the joke is awfully funny!!

:w:
:sister:

[Lonely_Boy]

[Lonely_Boy]

[habib]

lolllllllllll

ha ha ha ... all jokes are funny :giggling: :giggling:

[islamonline]

lol haha :p

[Lonely_Boy]

:sl:

:w:

[nsapsar]

Thanx Brother

Good Jokes :)

[Lonely_Boy]

On August 14, a woman went to a shop to buy Pakistani
flag. The shopkeeper gives her a Pakistani flag. She
looks at it for a while and ask one question

...... Shopkeeper faints

What does she ask?

Guess.........................

........................



.........................

........................


.........................

........................

.........................

........................



Is mai koi doosra colour dikhao
:)..!!

[------]

Gud jokez :D

[life]

On August 14, a woman went to a shop to buy Pakistani
flag. The shopkeeper gives her a Pakistani flag. She
looks at it for a while and ask one question

...... Shopkeeper faints

What does she ask?

Guess.........................

........................



.........................

........................


.........................

........................

.........................

........................



Is mai koi doosra colour dikhao
:)..!!

ha ha us nay yeh nahi poocha bhai is mein koi aur design bhi dekhao.......

[chacha_jalebi]

;) looool @ urdu jokes :happy:

k eres not a urdu joke but a pakistani joke :okay:

der woz a conference of all d worlds police forces in d world, americas police woz der, englands, lalala lands police, and even d pakistani police woz der :p, d American chief stood up n sed "our police is so gud we no who committed d robbery within 15 hours of d crime"

d english commissioner stood up and said "SO, we no who d criminals r within 5 hours"

everyone seemed really impressed then the pakistani commissioner stood up and said

"you lot r all stupid, us pakistani police know who d criminals r even b4 d robbery takes place"

:p if any1 didnt get it den erm erm ...... :-[

[chacha_jalebi]

:-[ lol i hav 1 wits a remix poetry if ya get me lol

khud ko kar buland itna, ke khuda tujh se kahey KITHEYY:p

erm erm

us ne kaha ke main tujh ko pyar kar ke chor doo gee, aur is ne pyar kiya aur chordiyaa:p
:-[ hav i lost d plot lol

[A.P]

lol!

[waji]

:sl:

chacha jee buhat khoob

:w:

[IslamInside]

haha bohut khoob

[IslamInside]

:giggling: :giggling: :giggling:

[IslamInside]

[------]

LOL with the lipstick man lolllllllllllllllllllll HAHAHAHAHAHA ;D ;D ;D

[Ruenz]

:) funny :)

[waji]

:sl:

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken,
Waiter comes with the order
Sardar:Murgi di taang kithe hai?
Waiter:Woh langda tha.
Sardar: Dil?
Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.
Sardar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha

:w:

[waji]

:sl:

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

:w:

[waji]

:sl:

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;
kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata

:w:

[era]

:sl:
boohat acha

[gr8man]

Aik Sardar Jee Ainay (Mirror) kay samanay Akhain band kar kay
kafi deair say kharay thay tu un ki biwi nay phocha Sardarjii
tusi ki karrahay hoo tu Sardar jii nay jawab diya kay may yey dekhnay
ki kushish karraha hoon kay may sotay howay kaisa lagta hoon;D ;D ;D

[era]

acha hay bro:happy:

[life]

Windows in Urdu 2006

Bill Gates Was In Pakistan A Few Days Ago. He Announced That
Microsoft Plans To Release A Windows Version In Urdu. Here Are
Some Windows Terms That May Be Used In Urdu Khirrkiyaan 2004!

File = Darkhwaast
Save = Bachao
Save As = Aisay Bachao
Save All = Subko Bachao
Help = Mujhay Bachao
Find = Dhoondo
Find Again = Phir Say Dhoondo
Move = Hillao
Open = Kholo
Close = Dafa Karo
New = Naya
Old = Khatara
Replace = Badli Karo
Run = Bhaago
Print = Chaapo
Print Preview = Dekh Kay Chaapo
Copy = Naqal Karo
Cut = Qatal Karo
Paste = Chipkao
Paste Special = Zor Say Chipkao
Mail = Daak
Mailer = Daakia
Tools = Auzaar
Toolbar = Auzaar Khamba
Compress = Thoonso
Mouse = Chooha
Zoom In = Ainak Utaar Kay Dekho
Zoom Out = Ainak Laga Kar Dekho
Delete All = Sub Ko Goli Maaro
Exit = Apnay Aap Ko Goli Maaro.

[gr8man]

Gates: Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo: Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.

Gates: At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.

Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo: OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates(Sweating): Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.

Gates: By the year 2010 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.

Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.

Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo: RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P..

Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave.

Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.

Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting. Please wait............."

[gr8man]

Uski julfon ko dekh kir armaan mera bhadkaa tha
Zulf hatakir dekha who ladki nahi ladka tha ;D ;D ;D

[era]

[gr8man]

Ek admi kay pass two parrots hotay hain.ek parrot ahr waqt sajday main rahta hai aur dosera parrot tasbi patrta rahta hai.iss admi kay hamsay kay pass ek female parrot hoti hai JO BOHAT HI SHARARTI HOTI HAI.har waqt kisi ko tang karti rahti hai.Female parrot wala admi apnay hamsay say kahta hai kah aap mera parrot apnay parrots kay pass rakh lain taikah woh bhi aap kay parrots ki tarah sharif ho ay .Woh kahta hai kah theak hai.lehaza male parrots wala admi female parrot ko apnay ghar lay ata hai .woh female parrot ko male parrot kay cage main rakh deta hai.jaisay hi male parrots female parrot ko dekhta hai jo tasbih parta rahta hai woh apni tasbi door phank kar sajday paray huay parrot say kahta hai uth yaar apni dua qabool hoo gai hai.

[Rizzy]

that was really funny. gd one sis. :thumbs_up

[Rizzy]

thats a gd one too gr8man

[Najiullah]

hahah thats cool :) hahaha

[gr8man]

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain

Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge

maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai

bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge



Tere ishq main janam kya se kya haal ho gaya

Badan se badboo aa rahee hai, nahay jamana ho gaya

[H@fiz Aziz]

ka hal hay

[^..sTr!vEr..^]

Frog [to Sardar] :Tumharay paas dimagh nai hay
Sardar: Hay
Frog: nai hay
Sardar: Hay
The frog jumps into a lake
Sardar: Isme suicide kernay walee kiya baat thee :D

[gr8man]

Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata>
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do

[waji]

:sl:

1 day sardarji had a dream dat sum1 killed him..

next day he cleared hi bank account...

why??

Bcoz in bank it was written " we make all ur dreamz come true.."

:w:

[Khayal]

Ek admi kay pass two parrots hotay hain.ek parrot ahr waqt sajday main rahta hai aur dosera parrot tasbi patrta rahta hai.iss admi kay hamsay kay pass ek female parrot hoti hai JO BOHAT HI SHARARTI HOTI HAI.har waqt kisi ko tang karti rahti hai.Female parrot wala admi apnay hamsay say kahta hai kah aap mera parrot apnay parrots kay pass rakh lain taikah woh bhi aap kay parrots ki tarah sharif ho ay .Woh kahta hai kah theak hai.lehaza male parrots wala admi female parrot ko apnay ghar lay ata hai .woh female parrot ko male parrot kay cage main rakh deta hai.jaisay hi male parrots female parrot ko dekhta hai jo tasbih parta rahta hai woh apni tasbi door phank kar sajday paray huay parrot say kahta hai uth yaar apni dua qabool hoo gai hai.

:giggling: :giggling:

[salam_pakistan]

Very funny
keep it up

[Snowflake]

^lol funny@grtman :giggling:

Aik aamal ka bara charcha tha ke roohon se baat karwa deta hai. Aik bacha jo apni zahanat aur hosheyari ki wajha se saare mahale mein bara mashoor tha, is aamal ke paas pohoncha.

"Mein apne dada ji ki rooh se baat karna chahta hoon."

Isse aik andhere kamre mein le jaya geya jahan agar battiyan jal rahi theen. Chand lamhon baad aik bhari awaaz sunai di...

"Kyun aaye barkhordaar?" Kareeb se aamal sahib ke chele ne bache ko tohka diya, "Tere dada bol rahe hain, bol keya poochna hai!"

"Dada jaan," bache ne sar khujate huey kaha, "Mujhe sirf ye poochna tha ke aapki rooh yahan keya kar rahi hai? Jabke aapka to abhi intikaal nahi hua!"

*****

:w:

[salam_pakistan]

:giggling: :giggling:

very funny

[Khayal]

:sl:

:omg:




:w:

.

[Khayal]

^lol funny@grtman :giggling:

Aik aamal ka bara charcha tha ke roohon se baat karwa deta hai. Aik bacha jo apni zahanat aur hosheyari ki wajha se saare mahale mein bara mashoor tha, is aamal ke paas pohoncha.

"Mein apne dada ji ki rooh se baat karna chahta hoon."

Isse aik andhere kamre mein le jaya geya jahan agar battiyan jal rahi theen. Chand lamhon baad aik bhari awaaz sunai di...

"Kyun aaye barkhordaar?" Kareeb se aamal sahib ke chele ne bache ko tohka diya, "Tere dada bol rahe hain, bol keya poochna hai!"

"Dada jaan," bache ne sar khujate huey kaha, "Mujhe sirf ye poochna tha ke aapki rooh yahan keya kar rahi hai? Jabke aapka to abhi intikaal nahi hua!"

*****

:w:

:sl:

:giggling: :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: Bohut mazay ka hai....:D


:w:

[Khayal]

:sl:


.

:w:

.

[salam_pakistan]

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

[Khayal]

:sl:

1. Ek Doctor Ne Menduk Ko Behosh Karna Tha Laikin Usay Behosh Karnay Kikoi Dawa Nahi Mili" Ek Ladka Pass Hi Khada Tha, Us Ne Kaha"meri Jorabain (moza) Usay Songha Dain.doctor Ne Kaha Mujhay Menduk Ko Behosh Karna Hay Marna Nahi.........


2. onece a sardar gi(sikh) was dancing on dool sound. all the people was worried about him . he was putting bangra dance on full vloume dool.one man came n asked sardar gi y are u dancing. he answered that my brother is died.man said ur brother is died n u are dancing. sardar replied all the world say that sardara have no mind but my brother is died becoz of brain cancer so it is proved that we have brain . let me dance n do ur work.

sari dunya no dus larn day kay sada vi damag hunda ai.....dum dum dum ..........bangra bangra

:sl:

[waji]

:sl:

Bhola was looking for a job. He couldn't find one in Pakistan so started applying to US & Canada. As soon as he applied, he got a reply from a US company.
Bhola was very happy and started giving treat to all his friends...
Dost poochney laggey kay....."Bhai, bataa to kon si company hai, kitni salary haai? vaghera... vaghera...".
Bhola said "English mein letter hai, per mein tumhe translate kar ke sunata hoon"....

"Woh company likhe hai...
"YOU DO NOT MEET"... yaani kay "Tum to milte hi nahin ho...(bahut busy ho)"
"OUR REQUIREMENTS"... yaani kay "Humein to bahut zaroorat hai"
"NO FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE"... yaani kay "Aagey chitthi bhejne ki zarurat nahin hai, (Jaise bhi ho jaldi se aajao)"
"WILL BE ENTERTAINED"... yaani kay "Bahut khatir ki jayegi"
Thank you


:w:

[waji]

:sl:


A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep.

Smart huh!!

:w:

[waji]

:sl:

How do you confuse a sardar??
By asking him to fond the corner of a circle.

How does he confuse you??
By finding one.


:w:

[bint-ul-islam]

aik taleemi mehkamay ka afsar aik school may inspection kay liay jata hai ...chotay bachon ki class may jata hai aur black board per lafz "nature " likhta hai aur aik bachay ko kehta hai kay spell kerain
bacha kehtay hai "natooray "
afsar ko bohat ghusa ata hai ...
teacher ko kehta hai ...app tawaja nahee dain gi to saree zindagi aisay hi perhay ga..
teacher kehte hain ...abhi bacha hai "matooray"(mature) ho ga to seekh jaye ga
afsar aur ghusay hota hai aur seedha principle kay office jata hai aur kehta hai kay app kay unperh teachers bachoon ko kia taleem dain gay ....
principle teacher to bhula ker khoob danta hai aur kehta hai kay app to bachoon ka FATOORAY (future) kharaab kernay pay tuli howi hain

[Khayal]

aik taleemi mehkamay ka afsar aik school may inspection kay liay jata hai ...chotay bachon ki class may jata hai aur black board per lafz "nature " likhta hai aur aik bachay ko kehta hai kay spell kerain
bacha kehtay hai "natooray "
afsar ko bohat ghusa ata hai ...
teacher ko kehta hai ...app tawaja nahee dain gi to saree zindagi aisay hi perhay ga..
teacher kehte hain ...abhi bacha hai "matooray"(mature) ho ga to seekh jaye ga
afsar aur ghusay hota hai aur seedha principle kay office jata hai aur kehta hai kay app kay unperh teachers bachoon ko kia taleem dain gay ....
principle teacher to bhula ker khoob danta hai aur kehta hai kay app to bachoon ka FATOORAY (future) kharaab kernay pay tuli howi hain

;D:giggling:

[Khayal]

:sl:

Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"


A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password.
Its 4 asterisks(****).
The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong.
Its 1258.


What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat


Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!


Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl!
So girl shouted, 'Saala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha??'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon?

.
What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes


Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
.

:w:

[era]

aik taleemi mehkamay ka afsar aik school may inspection kay liay jata hai ...chotay bachon ki class may jata hai aur black board per lafz "nature " likhta hai aur aik bachay ko kehta hai kay spell kerain
bacha kehtay hai "natooray "
afsar ko bohat ghusa ata hai ...
teacher ko kehta hai ...app tawaja nahee dain gi to saree zindagi aisay hi perhay ga..
teacher kehte hain ...abhi bacha hai "matooray"(mature) ho ga to seekh jaye ga
afsar aur ghusay hota hai aur seedha principle kay office jata hai aur kehta hai kay app kay unperh teachers bachoon ko kia taleem dain gay ....
principle teacher to bhula ker khoob danta hai aur kehta hai kay app to bachoon ka FATOORAY (future) kharaab kernay pay tuli howi hain

v..funnyyy:giggling: :giggling:

A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password.
Its 4 asterisks(****).
The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong.
Its 1258.

:giggling:

[UmmHasan]

:D :sl:
hehe all of these jokes are soooooooo funny...
I was in a bad mood today but this made it go away.
Thanks every1 :lol: :bravo: :D
:w:
your sister in Islam

[Khayal]

:sl:


aik pagal halwaee ki dukan per gaya.us nay aadha kilo doodh
pia aur phir thori see chini khanay ko mangi.chini khanay k
baad wo lait ker daain baain(lef & right) lotnay laga.
dukandar samjha k shaid doodh main zeher tha.us nay doodh gira
dia.paagal uth ker khara ho gaya to dukandar nay deryafet kia:
"tumhain kia huwa tha?" pagal nay jawab dia.

"yaar main to doodh main chini mila raha tha." :p


:w:


:w:

[PCJS]

Let's change all the Sardar jokes into Mullah jokes....:-)

[Khayal]

:sl:

3 Choro saath mein bethay hotay hain...
1St one" yaar main itni garam chaye(tea) peeta hoon k jaisay hee ketlee say cup say nikalti hai mein peejata hoon"
2Nd one" yeh konsi bari baat hai mein to ketlee mein he tyaar ker k ketlee mein hee peejata hoon "
3Rd one" uhh.. Yeh konsi bari baat hai main to moon(mouth) mein doodh, patee aur cheenee(sugar) daltaa hoon aur choolhay
Gas burner) per beth jaata hoon..."



Santa :I am a proud man, my son is in medical college.
Banta : Really, what is he studying,
Santa : no he is not studying, they are studying him.

:w:

[rozeena]

dat was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo funi im guna tell my dad dat wen i get hm, propa funi

[rozeena]

i saw this joke ages back thought id share it wid u. two indian passengers r waiting at the airport.

1st passenger- sir aap chinese hai?
2nd passenger- nehi

he waits a few minutes then says,

1st passenger- sir aap chinese hai? hai na?
2nd passenger- nehi bola na nehi.

the 1st passenger keeps starin at the second passengers n says
nehi sir aap chinese hai?

2nd passenger ( reali angry throws his newspaper n says)- haa haa mey chinese hu tho kya, tho kya?

1ST PASSENGER- PAR lagthe tho nahi,

i told my dad it n he cudnt stop laufin, ws reli funny wen u see it on tv tho,

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ LoL !!! subhanAllah that really is hilarious lollll

[waji]

:sl:

اپنے دوست کے انتقال پر ایک صاحب تعزیت کے لیے اس کے گھر گئے۔ گھر جا کر انہوں نے دیکھا کہ مرحوم اچھا خاصا دولت مند ہے۔ انھوں نے مرحوم کی بیوہ سے کہا: اگرچہ آپ کے لیے یہ بڑا صدمہ ہے جس کی تلافی ممکن نہیں لیکن اگر آپ مناسب سمجھیں تو میں مرحوم کی جگہ لے سکتا ہوں۔

’’ضرور! اگر دفنانے والے راضی ہوں تو مجھے بھلا کیا اعتراض ہو سکتا ہے۔‘‘ بیوہ نے کہ

ا

:w:

[AmarFaisal]

nice jokes:)

[^..sTr!vEr..^]

Eik pagal:Mein is duniya ko mitta dun ga...mitta dun ga...mitta dun ga...
Dosra pagal: Hehhee..mein tumko rubber he nahi dunga! :p

[Khayal]

:sl:

.


Wife: Jab Tum Nay Pehli Martaba Maira Ghoonghat Uthaya Tha To Kaisa Mehsoos Kiya Tha?

Husband : Khuda Ki Qasam Mai'n Mar Hi Jata Agar Ayatal Kursi Yaad Na Hoti...

:skeleton:







Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Neechay kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
:giggling:


Do pagal jarahay hotay hain rastay main aik masjid kay samnay say guzartay hain tu aik pagal kehta hai yaar Allah ka ghar dhoop main hai aoo is ko chaon main lai jatay hain . dono pagal chappal utar kay masjid ki deewar ko dhakka lagany lagtay hain shaam ho jati hai unki chaplain peechay say koi lai jata hai

. dosra pagal kehta hai yaad masjid chaon main agayee hai chalo ab chalailn jab woh murtay hian tu un chapplain nahin hotin hain :haha pehla pagal kehta hai yaar hum kafi agay agaye hain hamari chaplain hi nahin dikh rahi hain

AIK DOCTOR SAHAB KI DUTY LAG JATI HAI PAGAL KHANAY MAI. WOH PAGAL KHANAY MAI JATAY HAIN TO SAB APNAY APNAY KAMON MAI MASROOF HOTAY HAIN.... AIK PAGAL UNN KI SEAT PER BETHA HOTA HAI AUR KISI KO CHECK KAR RAHA HOTA HAI....
DOCTOR SAHAB JA KAR APNA TAARUF KARWATAY HAIN KEH MAIN YAHAN KA NAYA INCHARGE / DOCTOR HOON.... TO PAGAL HASNAY LAGTA HAI AUR PATIENT KI TARAF ISHARA KAR KEY KEHTA HAI.... PEHLAY YEH BHEE AISAY HEE KAHA KARTA THA.....


:giggling: :giggling:


aik pagal khaney se aik mareez sehatyaab ho ke janey laga to donctor ne ussey bill paish kiya aur kaha ke umeed hai ke ab aap theek honey ke baad yeh bill pay kar dein gey.
pagal ne jawab diya kyon nahi , agar ham yeh laakhoo'n ka mamooli bill na bhar paayein to hamein , hamari ra'aaya Akbar Badshah kaise tasleem karey gi ..........:blind:


ek pagal kuch samaan le kar ghar ja raha hota hai raste main uus ko ek aur pagal melta hai

dusra pagal bolta hai ke is tehlli main keya hai tu pehla wala bolta hai agar tum ne ye bata de ke is theli main keya hai tu ye andey (egg) tumhare aur aghar tum ne ye baya ke ye kitne hain tu sare 6 andey tumhare aur agar tum ne ye bataya ke ye kis ke andey hain tu wo murghi bhi tum hari

tu dusra pagal bolta hai yar kuch hints to do ..... :rollseyes

:giggling: :giggling:





Aik akhbari reporter ko bataya jaata haa ka Amritsar station paa train hadsaa ho ghia haa orr 200 bandaa maar ghay hain. Wo bhagam bhag whan ponachtaa haa to pata chaltaa ha 1 saardar G train hadsaa main bach ghay hain

Reporter : Sardar g kia huaa thaa
Sardar G : Na poochoo g bara he ghazab ho ghiaa
Reporter: Station paa ayia hua loogoon main sirf app hee bacha, asa kia hua
Sardar G : Bus g, sub station paa khara thaa ka itnaa main ialaan hua ka Wagha jana wali train Station paa aa rehi haa. Jasa hee loogoon na yia suna ka train station paa aa rehi haa unho na patrion paa chalang laga dee
Reporter : To app kasa bach ghay
Sardar G : Main to janab khudkushi ka lia patri pa hee laata hua tha, jub main na suna ka train station paa aa rehi haa to main bhag ka station paa char ghiaa orr itnaa main train patri paa chali ghee :enough!::enough!:




:giggling: :giggling:

.

:w:

[Khayal]

:sl:

2 men searching for thier lost wives

1st: how's ur wife look like?

2nd: beautiful, tall, bold blue eyes ....what about urs?

1st: meri ko maro goli ayo tumhari dhondtey hain....:blind:



Larki valley larkay say: Aap smoking kertay heyn?
Larka: Jee haan
Sharaab peetay hian?
Larka: Jee haan
Drugs laitay hain?
Larka: Jee haan
Jua kheltay hain?
Larka: Jee haan
Sab kuch negative hai kuch positive bhi hai?
Larka: Jee haan, HIV+

:skeleton:





Sardar Jee learnt an essay “ My Best Friend”, but in exam the essay was on ‘Father’. Sardar thought for a while and wrote the essay by replacing ‘Friend’ with ‘Father’, Essay became like this: “ I’m a very fatherly person. I’ve lots of fathers but my neighbor is my best father. He often comes to my home and my mother loves him very much.” In the end he wrote the moral “A father in need is a father in need”. :rollseyes






Compounders And Nurses Nay Aik Patient Ko Stretcher Say Utha Kar Usay Bed Pay Litaya.

Patient Dheeray Say Karahtay Huway Bola " Allah Ka Laakh Laakh Shukar Hai Kay Maira Operation Theek Thaak Ho Gaya "

Baraber Kay Bed Pay Laitay Aik Patient Nay Yeh Sun Kar Kaha: " Ziyadah Khush Fehmi Mai'n Mubtila Matt Ho, Maira Bhi Operation Theek Thaak Huwa Tha Laikin Pait Mai'n Rui Raih Jaanay Ki Wajha Say Dobara Operation Karaana Para...+o(

Sirf Yahi Nahi'n Woh 3 Number Kay Bed Pay Jo Patient So Raha Hai (Isharay Say Dikhatay Huway) Aik Baar To Us Kay Pait Mai'n Qainchi Raih Gai Thi...." :enough!:

Itnay Mai'n Kuch Nurses Dowrtay Huway Stretcher La'aiy Aur Us Patient Say Kaha Jo Abhi Abhi Aaya Tha: " Chalo Chalo Tumhara Dobara Operation Ho Ga, Doctor Gupta Nahi Mil Rahay "

:w:

[Star]

:sl:

2


Larki valley larkay say: Aap smoking kertay heyn?
Larka: Jee haan
Sharaab peetay hian?
Larka: Jee haan
Drugs laitay hain?
Larka: Jee haan
Jua kheltay hain?
Larka: Jee haan
Sab kuch negative hai kuch positive bhi hai?
Larka: Jee haan, HIV+

:skeleton:




:w:

ha ha classic

[nevesirth]

very funny, never heard jokes as funny as these before. the funniest thing is tht i dont understand a word of them. lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[^..sTr!vEr..^]

Bindas ho k Jeenay ka....



Tension nahi lainay ka....




Achay sapnay dekhnay ka....




Mast life Guzarnay ka.....



Bhoot se nahi darnay ka.......






Boley tu: Mirror nahi dekhnay ka ...!!! :okay: :D

[HJM]

Hehehehe......:happy:

:D

[HJM]

Aap apni zindagi me itna aage jao...


Keh aap jahan bhi jao log aapse bas yahi kahein...





jao baba Aage jao.........................................

Aage jao............................................... .......
Change nahi hai....:D

:hiding:

[HJM]

Aapke Ghar pe Tv hai?



Kon se channel
aate hai?










Table hai?















Chair bhi hogi?
















Apke ghar me
chipakali hai?

























Kutta hai?


























Bhais kyo
nai hai?












Audio CD hai k
Vcd k dvd?














Home theater
kyo nai hai?
















NaL hai?

Pani aata hai?






Fridge hai?



Bada hai k chota?




Thanda karta hai?


FROST FREE HAI KYA??


Kaun si company ka hai?


To dusri Company. ka
kyo nai hai?


Fan hai k AC?
Coolr kyo
nai hai?

Phone
nai hai?


Phone hai... ACHHA.

phir tu INTERNET bhi Ho GA?





Chalta hai kya?


yahan pr account bhi hoga...?




To phr yahan joke likhte hue bill aata hai kya???


:exhausted

[IB-Staff]

It's "URDU" Jokes thread, if you haven't noticed.

[salman786]

can some1 just give a brief summary of dat joke. I understand until he told da guy his mom's pic was in the third draw. But den what?

[maniadoc]

Train main husband wife say:-
tujh say shadi kar kay pachtaa raha hoon; dil karta hay kisi kuttay koo day doon.

Samnay Wala Passenger:-
errrrhhhh; bhao bhao bhao

[maniadoc]

Aik aadmi nay tension main kaha:-
Iss zindagee say toe maot achee


Forun maut ka farishtaa aa gaya aur kaha:-
Toe phir lay loon tumharee jaan?

Aadmi:-
Challo!!! hun banda koi gal ve na karey!!!

[SomeHowpossible]

Husband - tum kon hoo
Biwi - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye
HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai

[SomeHowpossible]

Ek din Wife aur Husband mandir se niklay to ek faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupay dede, andha hon
Husband:Dedo,Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha hi hoga

[SomeHowpossible]

Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viranna
janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
& sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam

[Khayal]

Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viranna
janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
& sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam

Jannat men tu jaan chor den larkion ki..:hmm:

Jo k pehlay say hee janaat men hen..

Ek din Wife aur Husband mandir se niklay to ek faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupay dede, andha hon

Husband:Dedo,Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha hi hoga

:giggling:

nice one, thanks.

.

[Khayal]

Train main husband wife say:-
tujh say shadi kar kay pachtaa raha hoon; dil karta hay kisi kuttay koo day doon.

Samnay Wala Passenger:-
errrrhhhh; bhao bhao bhao

Astaghfirullah! :giggling:

[SomeHowpossible]

Ap ka matlab ha k larkiaan jannat main pehly se he hoon gi.....tobe karo g....pehly hm inhi ki wajha se jannat se nikaly gay hain...:)

[SomeHowpossible]

Hello, kesi ho tum ?" Bari chahakti hoi awaz aai,,
"itni daaer laga di tum nay,main kab say baethi tumhara phone ka intizaar ker rahi the"

"haan baas zara ami ki tabiyaat theek nahi thee.is liye khana bananay main zara daaer ho gai?

"waisay tum kia ker rahi theen.?"

main .....main to shahrukh khan ki nai film "main hoon na " jo aaj hi reliaes hoi hay daekh rahi the.

ohhhh.! acha film releaehogai main aaj hi is ki CD mangwati hoon, pata hay meray mamo jaan aj maeray liye new CD player bhaej rahy hain

"ye to achi baat hay "

"acha aur kia haal hay tumhara "

"main buhaat thaak gai hoon ajj to!"

"kioon kia kia gaya tha ? "

bas zara Ami kay sath bazargai the. pori garmioo ki shoping ker dali.

"acha suno! jis kaam kay liye tumhay phone kia tjhe wo to bhool hi gai. agar yasmeen say baat ho to us ko kehnnak ya wo apni jorjat ki kameez bhaaej day. mujhay wesi hi banwani hay.

"kon yasmin kon si kamez"?

"kia matlub kon yasmeen? wo jo F.A main hamray sath perhti thee.

"laekin Uzma hum to matric kay baad school gaye hi nahi aur kon si saheli yasmeen.

aryy bahi kon uzma! main to samreen hon aur kia tum Shaheen nahi hoo?

shaheen. ....? nahi to ..... main to misbha hoon"...

kia ye 760269 nahi hay ......?

sorry wrong number......!!!

[Khayal]

sorry, bhaie....Itni bari bak, bak perhnai ka time nai hai...:hiding:

jo k ghalti say perh li..

[SomeHowpossible]

ek buhut moti aurat ke ghar chor aya
uss ne chor ko dekha tou usko pakar kar uske ooper bait gayee. shohar ko kaha jaldi jayey police ko bulayey.
shohar ne kaha wohi karney laga hon par meri jooti nahi mill rahi.
chor : "meri pehen le par Allah ke banday jaldi jaa".

[Khayal]

ek buhut moti aurat ke ghar chor aya
uss ne chor ko dekha tou usko pakar kar uske ooper bait gayee. shohar ko kaha jaldi jayey police ko bulayey.
shohar ne kaha wohi karney laga hon par meri jooti nahi mill rahi.
chor : "meri pehen le par Allah ke banday jaldi jaa".

Astaghfirullah!!!!!! LOOOOL! :haha:

thanks bhie it was very funny..;D

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Khawand: Begum! Tumhari gardan par ajeeb si cheez lagi hue hai jise dekh kar khaof aata hai.

Begum (dar kar): Woh kiya?

Khawand: Tumhara moon......!


:D

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Ustaad (shagird se): Agar tumhare abbu ko 3000 rupe ki zarurat ho aor main unhen 5000 ka note dun tao baqi kitne milen ge?

Shagird: Zero

Ustaad: Hisaab nahin jante?

Shagird: Aap mere abbu ko nahin jante.

[Mahmed]

hahahaha

bohot ache jokes hain

[MMohammed]

;D
Nice Jokes.Thanks!

ek aadmi raat ko 3 baje utha... Or...

Tahajjud parhne k bad dua mangte waqt bola,,,

mere mola sab soo rahe hain or main teri ibadat kar raha hoon,,,

to saath wali charpai se aawaz ayi " tu apni dua maang,,

humari shikayat kio kar raha hai ???"

[MMohammed]

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Bohot mazahiya lataif hain.

Faqeer (dookandar se): Allah ke naam pe aik rupeyah de do.

Dookandar: Baba kal ana.

Faqeer: iis kal kal ke chakkar mein mere iis bazaar mein lakhon rupe phanse huwe hein.

:p:

[MMohammed]

Haha.Bohot Acha

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Mareez ne achanak aankhen kholte huwe kaha

"Doctor Sahib, kiya mera operation kamyaab raha?"




"Sabar se kaam lo beta. Main doctor nahin FARISHTA hoon"

[ayeh]

ek buhut moti aurat ke ghar chor aya
uss ne chor ko dekha tou usko pakar kar uske ooper bait gayee. shohar ko kaha jaldi jayey police ko bulayey.
shohar ne kaha wohi karney laga hon par meri jooti nahi mill rahi.
chor : "meri pehen le par Allah ke banday jaldi jaa".

:giggling:

[ayeh]

Mareez ne achanak aankhen kholte huwe kaha

"Doctor Sahib, kiya mera operation kamyaab raha?"




"Sabar se kaam lo beta. Main doctor nahin FARISHTA hoon"

:rock:............

[ayeh]

bohot mazahiya lataif hain.

faqeer (dookandar se): allah ke naam pe aik rupeyah de do.

dookandar: baba kal ana.

faqeer: iis kal kal ke chakkar mein mere iis bazaar mein lakhon rupe phanse huwe hein.

:p:

;d;.......

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Aik molvi sahib aik khatoon se takra gae.

Khatoon: Aap ko sharam nahi aati. Itni lambi darri rakh kar auraton ko takren marte phir rahe hain?

Molve Sahib: Mohtarmah, yeh darri hai, break nahi.


:p

[Snowflake]

^shukriya

Himaliya

Ustaad: Batao Himaliya kahan hai?

Shagird: Sir, mujhe nahi pata! :hmm:

Ustaad: Bench par khare ho jao :anger:

Shagird: Wow keya bench se Himaliya nazar aa jayega Sir? :confused::ooh:


;D:hmm:

[raushan]

tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....
tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....
tujh ko dekha tho ye khyaal aya....
tujh ko dekha tho phir ye khyaal aya....

ke mere dil main aisa khyaal kyun aaya

[Khayal]

^shukriya

Himaliya

Ustaad: Batao Himaliya kahan hai?

Shagird: Sir, mujhe nahi pata! :hmm:

Ustaad: Bench par khare ho jao :anger:

Shagird: Wow keya bench se Himaliya nazar aa jayega Sir? :confused::ooh:


;D:hmm:

:sl:

lol..


Kahein wo shagird tum tu nahein thein??? :p



:wa:

Khawand: Begum! Tumhari gardan par ajeeb si cheez lagi hue hai jise dekh kar khaof aata hai.

Begum (dar kar): Woh kiya?

Khawand: Tumhara moon......!


:D

:sl:

Astaghfirulllaahh!!!

Made me --->>> LOL

Butot hee mazay kaa hai....lolzzz


:wa:

Ustaad (shagird se): Agar tumhare abbu ko 3000 rupe ki zarurat ho aor main unhen 5000 ka note dun tao baqi kitne milen ge?

Shagird: Zero

Ustaad: Hisaab nahin jante?

Shagird: Aap mere abbu ko nahin jante.

Aik molvi sahib aik khatoon se takra gae.

Khatoon: Aap ko sharam nahi aati. Itni lambi darri rakh kar auraton ko takren marte phir rahe hain?

Molve Sahib: Mohtarmah, yeh darri hai, break nahi.

Originally Posted by mercurial

bohot mazahiya lataif hain.

faqeer (dookandar se): allah ke naam pe aik rupeyah de do.

dookandar: baba kal ana.

faqeer: iis kal kal ke chakkar mein mere iis bazaar mein lakhon rupe phanse huwe hein.

LOLzzzz

Bhai mercurial...shukria..

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Aik qasaab ne subha subha junhi dookan kholi aik andha chala aaya. Bakri ke gosht par hath rakh kar bola "Yeh bakri ka gosht hai." Phir gaae ke gosht par hath rakh kar bola "Yeh gaae ka gosht hai."

Qasaab bohot hairaan huwa. Lutf lene ki gharz se andhe ka hath apne barhna kandhe par rakh kar bola "Yeh kis cheez ka gosht hai." "AAP GADHE KA GOSHT BHI BECHTE HAIN," andha hairat se bola.

[Khayal]

Aik qasaab ne subha subha junhi dookan kholi aik andha chala aaya. Bakri ke gosht par hath rakh kar bola "Yeh bakri ka gosht hai." Phir gaae ke gosht par hath rakh kar bola "Yeh gaae ka gosht hai."

Qasaab bohot hairaan huwa. Lutf lene ki gharz se andhe ka hath apne barhna kandhe par rakh kar bola "Yeh kis cheez ka gosht hai." "AAP GADHE KA GOSHT BHI BECHTE HAIN," andha hairat se bola.

Astaghfirullaah!! lolzzzzz

Shukria!!

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Yea, it was quite a lot funny but check this one. :p

[Khayal]

Yea, it was quite a lot funny but check this one. :p

Itna bhi funny nahein hai, bechara bakhtu...lolz

Shukria.

['Abdul Rahmaan]

[CENTER]Itna bhi funny nahein hai, bechara bakhtu...lolz

The difference of sense of homour.

[waji]

شادی میں کھانا کھلا
سردار کو پلیٹ نہیں ملی
تو وہ اپنی جھولی میں کھانا ڈالنے لگا
تو لوگوں نے پوچھا کہ یہ کیا
سردار: داغ تو چلا جائے گا یہ وقت پھر نہیں آئے گا

[Khayal]

شادی میں کھانا کھلا

سردار کو پلیٹ نہیں ملی
تو وہ اپنی جھولی میں کھانا ڈالنے لگا
تو لوگوں نے پوچھا کہ یہ کیا

سردار: داغ تو چلا جائے گا یہ وقت پھر نہیں آئے گا

Mazay ka hai, khana nahein lateefa...lolzz

Shukria.

[~Raindrop~]

lol!!!!

i like these :D:D:D:D

seeing as i cant take part in the Urdu games yet, i may as well enjoy these.

(i hope your reading this ***** :p)

[Khayal]

:sl:

.

Media Tags are no longer supported

.

:wa:

[waji]

ابھی ابھی خبر آئی ہے کے حکومتِ پاکستان کو نامعلوم فون نمبر سے ایک پیغام ملا ہے 28 اور 29 نومبر پاکستان کی تاریخ میں بہت ہی خون خرابے کے دن ہونگے جو ساری دنیا کے لیئے ایک مثال بن جائیں گے۔
۔
۔
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
۔
۔
۔
ہمارے لوگ پورے پاکستان میں الصبح سورج نکلتے ہی اپنے ہتھیاروں اور اوزاروں کے ساتھ ملک کے کونے کونے میں پھیل جائیں گے۔
۔
۔
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
۔
۔
سورج نکلتے ہی پورے پاکستان میں ایک ایک گلی میں خون کی ندیاں بہیں گی اور
اور
اور
اور
اور
اور
اور
اور
اور
ایک بھی بکرا یا گائے نہیں بچے گی ۔ میری طرف سے سب کو پیشگی بقر عید مبارک

[Ameer Hamza]

Aray bhai aap nay to hamara dam hi nikal dai tha.

Ab to khair mubarak kehnay ki bhi himat nahi!! :)

[Ameer Hamza]

Aray yar boat porana ha koi naya ha to sher karo

[OurIslamic]

Jazakallah! Funny jokes hain :P

[OurIslamic]

:sl:

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws_cF_9Gwmc

.

:wa:

Nice video .

[meer5sd]

hahahahaha......

[meer5sd]

masha allah achhe jokes hain, keep going on

[DaNgErOuS MiNdS]

What did the mouse say to the cheese?

..............


........


....


..


Thou cheese bari hai mast mast!

[waji]

Computerized Shairi

Kaal jab milay thay to dil me hva eik sound
Or aaj milay to kehtay ho your file not found

Jo muddat se hota aaya hay wo repeat kar donga
Tu na mili to apni zindagi ctrl+alt+delete kar donga

Shayad meray payar ko deykhna bhool gaye
Dil say aisa cut kiya kay paste karna bhool gaye

Lakhon hongee nigah me kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo
Meray piyar kay icon per kabhi to double click karo

[tw009]

^^LOOOOLLL nice

['Abdul Rahmaan]

[Beardo]

you know what I do when some Pakistani Uncle says a joke to me in Urdu... I either try to break the words in my mind and figure the joke out. If that doesn't work, I just give a confident laughter and then quietly walk away. :X

['Abdul Rahmaan]

lol

Then how do you react to a joke that you do figure out?

[waji]

محبت

عشق

اور

پیار




یہ تین چیزیں کسی بھی طوفان سے مقابلہ کرسکتیں ہیں
مگر
ایک چیز ان سب کو ختم کر سکتی ہے



اور
وہ
ہے






ماں کی چپل :nervous:

['Abdul Rahmaan]

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Arz kiya hai....
Phool gir jaate hai jab aap aate ho
phool gir jaate hai jab aap jaate ho
Chashma lagaakar chala karo
Gamlon se kyun takraate ho

عرض کیا ہے
پھول گرجاتے ہے جب آپ آتے ہو
پھول گرجاتے ہے جب آپ جاتے ہو
چاشا لگاکر چلا کرو
گملوں سے کیوں ٹکراتے ہو


--
محمد عبد الماجد

['Abd Al-Maajid]

... I either try to break the words in my mind and figure the joke out. If that doesn't work, I just give a confident laughter and then quietly walk away. :X

breaking the words just kills the joke...;D;D;D

['Abd Al-Maajid]

You know difference between English mother, Devnagri mother, Urdu mother and the divergent Hyderabadi Ammi...;D
English Mother : Good night, dear.
Devnagri mother : Shub raatri,beta.
Urdu mother : Shabba khair

Hyderabadi mother : SOJA RE MURDE, ANGAAR LAGA WOH PHONE KU...;D;D;D;D;D;D;D;D

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Lol...une naamich nai likha...manager kisku increment dinga ab...;D;D;D;D
Respected Sir bolke shawl me joota lapat ke maarra...

[kashif.rock]

hahah its really vry funny.....Sheikh ko hindi nahin aati kate.....So usko samne baithkar samjhana padta ye.. :p hahahah ;D;D;D:p:p:p:p:raging::statisfie

[Insaanah]

Mein maazrat chaahtee hoon agar yai lateefa pehlai bhee post kiyaa gayaa hai.

Aik laRkee kai waaldain kisee larkai kai waaldain sai milai rishtai kai baarai mein. Unhon nai laRkai kai waaldain sai kahaa, "Hamaari beTi kai pass MBBS hai. Woh doctor hai. Aap kaa beTaa kahaan tak paRhaa huwa hai?" Larkai kai waaldain nai jawaab diyaa, "MBBF tak". LaRkee kai waaldain nai kahaa, "MaashaAllah! Aur MBBF kiyaa hota hai?" LaRkai waalon nai jawaab diyaa, "Matric Baar Baar Fail."

[Rafeeq]

If you can not lough on your self, you do not have right to lough on other (JEW TV):p

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

lol MashaAllaah..read that 1 in english :\..

Aaap sabb urdu achi boltaye ho :)

[Banu_Hashim]

you know what I do when some Pakistani Uncle says a joke to me in Urdu... I either try to break the words in my mind and figure the joke out. If that doesn't work, I just give a confident laughter and then quietly walk away. :X

SubhaanAllah! I use that technique with almost every awkward situation.

[CosmicPathos]

nice jokes.

Its very hard for me to read Urdu written with English alphabet :(

['Abd Al-Maajid]

One Hyderabadi joke,
When somebody asks address then whoever hears him asking the address comes near his vehicle and starts giving him direction - "Woh jo pan ka dabba dikh ra aage uske baad 2 qadam pe ek galli hey, wahan left mudhiye, phir ek hajjam ki dukan aaingi, usku lagke ek galli hey, usme chuatha makaan hain right ko. Peele rang ki gate hai dekho".

[Abu Zainab]

One Hyderabadi joke,
When somebody asks address then whoever hears him asking the address comes near his vehicle and starts giving him direction - "Woh jo pan ka dabba dikh ra aage uske baad 2 qadam pe ek galli hey, wahan left mudhiye, phir ek hajjam ki dukan aaingi, usku lagke ek galli hey, usme chuatha makaan hain right ko. Peele rang ki gate hai dekho".

LOL

Hyderabad mein 'qadam' ku 'khadam' bolte. Bhotich badi ghalti kardiye na aap! ;D

['Abd Al-Maajid]

LOL

Hyderabad mein 'qadam' ku 'khadam' bolte. Bhotich badi ghalti kardiye na aap! ;D

LOL tum bhi hyderabad keich dikhrai...;D

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

^lol, is Hyderbad in Pakistan or India?

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

oh okay i thought there was only 1. . .

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Aww...come on! pathans are not that smart...;D;D



No offense meant or intended.

Darn! Pathans are really smart!!!;D;D;D

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Indeed they are

[Tilmeez]

Mian or Biva main larai ho gai.
Bivi nay apni maa ko phone kia or kaha, "Meri Un say larai ho gai hay main char din rehnay kay liay aap kay pass aarahi hon".

Maa nay kaha, " Ghalti us ki hay to saza bhi usi ko milny chahiay, Tum apnay ghar per hi ruko main khud 5 mah rehnay kay liay aajati hun."

[Snowflake]

:lol:









...................................

[syed_z]

Mian or Biva main larai ho gai.
Bivi nay apni maa ko phone kia or kaha, "Meri Un say larai ho gai hay main char din rehnay kay liay aap kay pass aarahi hon".

Maa nay kaha, " Ghalti us ki hay to saza bhi usi ko milny chahiay, Tum apnay ghar per hi ruko main khud 5 mah rehnay kay liay aajati hun."

lol.. good one...

[abdussattar]

Aap mere dil me aise aa gaye...
Aap mere dil me aise aa gaye...


zara ghaur karen,

Aap mere dil me aise aa gaye...
Jaise sandh makai ke khet me :giggling:

I laughed so hard when I first heard this...

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^I didn't get it...:X

[abdussattar]

arrey, sandh kaisa aati ji makai ke khet me??

['Abd Al-Maajid]

arrey, sandh kaisa aati ji makai ke khet me??

What is sandh?

[abdussattar]

bayl

Lol
A buffalo

[abdussattar]

tni lassi kon peay ga

bahahhaha :D ;D

Btw itne lateefay kyun bante hain sardaron par?

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Sandh bhains ka marad (male buffalo)

bayl

Ooh!

arrey, sandh kaisa aati ji makai ke khet me??

haan maloom sanhd kaisa aata makai ke khet me..:p

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Btw itne lateefay kyun bante hain sardaron par?

Sardar bewakoof hote hai par....Pathan akalmand hote hai. Kyun Tilmeez bhai...:D

[abdussattar]

Aisa kaisa, sob ich sardaran bewakoof rehte? ye kaise sambhav hai?

[Tilmeez]

Boarder pay 1 faugi ko chuti chahiay thee. Us nay apnay officer say kaha sahib chutti chahihay. Officer bola koi bada karnama kar kay dikhao to chutti milay gee. Fauji giya or India ka aik Tank pakar kar lay aya. Us ko chutti mil gai.

Chutti say wapis aye huway kuch hi din huway thay kay us nay phir chutti kay liay aaply kardia. Officer nay phir wohi shart rakh di, "koi karnama karo to..." Fauji phir gia or India ka aik Tank pakar laya. Chutti mil gai.

Tesry baar jab woh tank pakar kar laya to officer nay kaha chutti tab milay gee jab tum mujhay bato gay keh tum tank kaysay pakartay ho. Fauji nay kaha very simple!

Ham boarder par jatay hain dosry taraf bhi kisi na kisi ko chutti jana hota hay.... Bus us ko apna Tank dia or un say un ka tank lay kar a gay! :D

[Insecured soul]

Nikah ke waqt moulvi ne mehmano se pucha,
kisi ko is shaadi pe koi aitraaz to nahi,
ek shaks bola, haan mujhe hai
moulvi ne jawab diya
tum chup raho tum dulhe ho

---------------------------------------

Apne dimaag ko test karne ke liye
Cow ke saamne sir aage karke khade ho jaiye
agar wo door jaye to samajh lena gobar hai
agar paas aaye to samajho bhoosa hai.

---------------------------------------------

Palko pe apni baithaya hai tumhe
badi duaaon ke baad paya hai tumhe
aasani se nahi milte tum
NATIONAL ZOOLOGICAL PARK se churaya hai tumhe

[abdussattar]

tum chup raho tum dulhe ho

Omg I had so much difficulty in controlling my laughter :giggling: ;D

[tw009]

LOL! love the pathan jokes

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^ LOL Only a Hyderabadi can understand those shers....:p

[Innocent Soul]

Assalamualaikum

It's not that difficult to understand for an hyderabadi. But, hyderabadi language hyderabadioo ke siva kisi ko bhi nahi sajh me aa sakti.;D

[Rafeeq]

i don't like jokes that make fun of people of a certain ethnicity

Take it easy, Sis Muhaba. These are just to spread smile on one's lips for quite some time.

Now read it:

When a man returned to his village from city who was working there for many years, announced that he learnt English in the city. Every body in the village started respecting him as very educated and noble man among them.

Government started a new project of constructing a railway workshop near to his village and they need at least one man from this village who could speak and understand English for foreign engineers and delegates. People took him to the recruiting officer. When he saw him, he asked, " Do you know English." Villager replied, “Yes Sir.” He asked, Okey Ksi admi ko apney paas bulana ho to kia bolein gey, He happily replied, “Come here.” Officer smiled with satisfaction and said, Oar agar ksi ko wahan bhejna ho, pointing towards Main Gate. Villager happily said, koi masla hi nhi saab and ran towards main gate and shouted from there, “Oye, come here.”

[Tilmeez]

although the joke is funny, i don't like jokes that make fun of people of a certain ethnicity and this joke is making fun of patans. Unfortunately a lot of pakistani jokes do this and it is derogatory and discriminatory.

Normally jokes only come into being when someone is being laughed at. For last few days I'm receiving pathan jokes on my mobile from an unknown number... I don't know who is teasing me :X

[Muhaba]

^You should change the Pathan to something else before posting the joke, like maybe "a man passing by". a lot of pathans find such jokes offensive. how would people of other nationalities/ethnicity feel if the joke made fun of their people? for example how would readers feel, if the joke is changed the joke to:

2 sardar darya kay kinaray bethay pani main dahi mila rahay thay. Pass say aik Panjabi guzra us na pocha kia hora hay Sardar jee.

1 Sardar bola lassi bana rahay hain.

Panjabi: Log tum logon pay lateefay theek hi banatay hain.... O pagal kay bacho...

Itni lassi kon peay ga

BTW are there any jokes about Panjabis?

Muslims should avoid jokes that make fun of a certain ethnicity as these jokes disunite the Ummah by creating feelings of anger and enmity, not to mention ethnocentrism, where one ethnicity feels they are superior to another. Pathans and Panjabis both belong to Pakistan and both are Muslims but don't seem to be one nation but two separate nations that hate each other. Not a good thing. Where did feelings of ethnocentrism and hatred toward other muslim ethnicities come from? Is it plot of the kuffar to keep the Muslims disunited?

[Tilmeez]

As I told you in my earlier post how jokes are created... FYI the poster of these pathan jokes is no one else but a Pathan.
In Indo Pak Pathans and Sardars are the subject of most jokes but this does not take away their intellectual works.

We have long list of Pathans and Sardars who are outstanding in their respective fields.
I don't see any harm in it as long as these are for Jokes Only. Just to honor your suggestion I will delete them.

Post # 172 of this thread has something related:

If you can not lough on your self, you do not have right to lough on other

['Abd Al-Maajid]

I'm receiving pathan jokes on my mobile from an unknown number... I don't know who is teasing me

;D;D;D;D;D;D *Rolls on floor laughing* Man, that's the funniest post I've read in this thread!

[Rafeeq]

Dear Sis Muhaba.

In addition to what Akhee Tilmeez explained, most of the jokes could only be amused when there is a Pahtan or Sardar in it, otherwise the purpose fails.

I can not remember very good example but find below which I could reproduce right now (just to support my arguments);

Aik pathan ney aik electronic shop k salesman sey poocha, ye TV kitney ka hey,

Wo bola, Ham pathano ko saman nhi bechtey.

Doosry din wo western outfit me dobara pohch gia or TV ki qeemat pochi, salesman ny ghoor k usey dekha or kaha, me ney aap ko kal bhi kaha tha, ham pathano ko saman nhi bechtey,

Usey boaht ghusa aaya aor herat bhi. teesrey din wo aik Arabi dress me phir ja pohncha, dobara qeemat pochi to dokandar ney is bar zara sakht lehjey me jawab dia, Khan Sahab, aap ko teen dino sey me keh raha hon, ham pathano ko saman nhi bechtey.

Pathan ney ghusey sey apney sar sey Qatra or Romal utar k phenka or bola, " Tum ko pata kesa chalta hey k hum pathan hey."

Dokandar bola, "Jis cheez ko aap TV samajh rahey hein wo TV nhi Microvace Ovan hey."

Now tell me, if we do not use Pathan / Sardar here, this joke will not be lose its fun ? ? ? ?

[Tilmeez]

Martin Luther King Said:
If you can't fly
Run
If you can't run
Walk
If you can't walk
Crawl
But keep moving....


Aik Sahib (Jo aik Khas qumiat say taaluq rakhtay thay :X ) bolay...

Saab Theek hay bhai yeh to batao Jana kidhar hay :p

[Muhaba]

^that is a fantastic question. we should always know where we are going before we start or else we might get lost. a plan (or map) is always necessary.

[Rafeeq]

Aik door daraz k gaon me bohat machar ho gaey. Gaon k baron ney faisla kia ye machron ki is foj sey jo raat ko nikalti hey, aney wali raat muqabla kia jaey. Elan kara dia gia k sab nojawan raat ko tyaar ho jaey, bandooqein, bhaley, teer or talwar ley kar tayar ho gai.

Sari raat machron ka peecha kia jata raha mgr koi kamyabi na ho saki. Subah tarkey aik thaka hara dehati ongh raha tha k us k sathi ney dekha machar us ki naak pey betha hey. Us ney shest (nishana) bandhi to onghtey dehati ki ankh khul gai, is sey pehley k wo dar k bhagta, nishana leney waley ney kaha, hilna mat dushman tumhari naak pey betha hey or goli chala di.

Subah gaon k sarey bachey borhey gaon k sardar k derey pey jang ka natija suney gai jo ye tha.

LARAI BARABAR RAHI, DUSHMAN KA AIK JAWAN MARA GIA AOR HAMAREY BHI AIK SIPAHI KO APNI JAAN SEY HATH DHONEY PAREY.

(Agar insano key is tabqey ka taluq sikh baradri sey zahir kar dia jaey to latifey ka maza dobala ho sakta hey)

['Abd Al-Maajid]

:sl:
Ahem *clears throat*
Ek gadhe ne sardar ko laat maari,
Sardar uske peeche bhaaga, Raste me usey zebra mil gaya,
Sardar usko laat maarkar bola, "Saaley! Night dress pahenkar ullu banaata hai?"
;D

[~Raindrop~]

LOL!
poor zebra ;D

[Rafeeq]

poor zebra

Rich Sardar

Kam az kam daad to urdu me deni chahye :p

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

LOL!
poor zebra ;D

lol poor PEOPLE!

[Rafeeq]

Aik shaks, chashma lagaey marriage certificate ko kafi der sey ulat palat kar dekh raha tha.
Begam ney poocha, aap kia dekh rahey hein, bola, har certificate ki expiry date hoti hey, is ki expiry dhoond raha hon. . . . . .:omg:

[Rafeeq]

Aik siyah jagah sair karney gya, wahan k log usey bilkul pasand na aey.

aik hotel me khana khaney betha to berey (waiter) ney poocha sahab kia lo gey. Us ney jawab dia. Aik machli farai or hamdardi k do bol. Berey ney pocha aor kuch, to syah ney jawab dia, nhi hamdardi k do bol sirf.

Berey ney apna muhn us k kaan k pas laya or kaha "sahab, machli mat khana, do din ki basi hey" :hmm:

[Rafeeq]

ایک بڑی بی کو گرنے کی وجہ سے سخت چوٹ آگئی
ڈاکٹر نے مرہم پٹّی کردی اور سیڑھیوں سے اُترنے چڑھنے کو منع کردیا دو مہینے بعدپٹّی کھُل گئی تو ڈاکٹر نے اُنہیں سیڑھیاں چڑھنے کی اجازت دیدی تو اُنہوںنے کہا
خُداکا شُکر ہے کہ اب میں سیڑھیاں اُتر اور چڑھہ سکوں گی
ورنہ میں پائپ کے راستے اُترتی چڑھتی تنگ آگئی تھی ؛

[Innocent Soul]

Ek sardar ko murgi khane ka dil kar raha tha .Usse murgi ko angreezi mein kya kahte hai yaad nahi aaraha tha. Us ne hotel mein jakar raha 'I want to eat egg's mother'. :hiding:

[Rafeeq]

Ek sardar ko murgi khane ka dil kar raha tha .Usse murgi ko angreezi mein kya kahte hai yaad nahi aaraha tha. Us ne hotel mein jakar raha 'I want to eat egg's mother'

LOL........................ :p

['Abd Al-Maajid]

10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" Sardar bola, "Mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai." ;D;D;D

[~Raindrop~]

10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" sardar bola, "mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai."

lol ;D

......

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

lol ;D

......

:-\ . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[Abdul-Raouf]

10-12 log ek sardar ko maar rahe the phir bhi sardar hans raha tha. Ek aadmi poocha, "kyun hans rahe ho?" Sardar bola, "Mai gurmeet hoon, ye log mujhe kuldip samajh kar maar rahe hain, kitne paagal hai." ;D;D;D

hee hee :) ...thats called innocent smile (laugh) ... i think ??

['Abd Al-Maajid]

hee hee :) ...thats called innocent smile (laugh) ... i think ??

No, That's a 'very stupid sardar'. ;D

[Rafeeq]

Bhekari ney maldar no jawan sey poocha, " Sahab, kia bat hey, 5 sal pehley aap mujhy 10 rupey detey they, 2 sal pehley 5 rupey aor ab 2 rupey dena shru kr diey hein."

Nojawan ney jawab dia, "5 sal pehley me kunwara tha, 2 sal pehley meri shadi ho gai aor ab meri aik bachi bhi hey."

Bhekari ney berukhi sey munh phertey huey kaha, "bohat khoob...... to aap merey paison sey apney khandan ki parwarish kar rahey hein."

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^HAHA That was funny!!!

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Ek bachcha chocolate kha raha tha, ek aadmi bola, "itni chocolate khaana acha nahi hota."
Bachcha : mere dadaji 105 saal jiye the
Admi : Chocolate khate the kya wo?
Bachcha : Nahin, apne kaam se kaam rakhte the.

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Fighter jet pilot SARDAR ne kamyabi ke baad apna plane land kia.Land karne par ground staff ne usey hathon hath liya aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage.

Sardar (fakr se):Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 fightr jet,2 helicoptr aur 2 tank ko udaya hai.

Ground Staff:Wo sab to theek hai sardarji,lekin aapne ek galti kar di.

Sardar:Kya galti?

Staff:Bas aap iss khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gaye.
;D;D;D

[Rafeeq]

Bas aap iss khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gaye

ha ha ha ha ha . . . . .

[Innocent Soul]

Sardar Jokes

Santa Singh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Singh, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks

Santa singh jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. Santa singh continued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.

Dear Mr. Singh-----pyare singh sahab

You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.

No phone call ----phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya

[Rafeeq]

^ LOL. . . .

A pathan got highest marks in high school, local news paper approached him and held a small interview.

At the end, reporter asked, "what do you want to be in future."

He replied happily, " bachpan sey khahish hey bara ho k apna landey ka karobar karon."

[Far7an]

What is landey?

[Tilmeez]

Is ka matlab?

Landa / Lunda ka Karobar = Trading of Used cloths / shoes etc. :X

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Weird pathans

Weird Tilmeez ke dostaan...:p

[Tilmeez]

Weird pathans

Weird Tilmeez ke dostaan...

Aray Bhaio yeh to Kuch bhi nahi hay. Far7an Bhai ki Ijazat say aik do Waqiat araz hain:

Aik pathan say kisi nay pocha Khan Saab tum ko Sardi lagta hay to kia kartay ho?
Pathan: Hum heater kay pass bayth jata hay.
Aadmi: Agar phir bhi sardi kam na ho to kia kartay ho.

Pathan: Hum heater ko ON kar dayta hay :X



Aik or Khan saab ki suno:
Pathan nay Jaan per Khail kar Jalti hui building main say 6 logon ki jaan bachai.
Logon nay Khan Saab ko bohat maara.... pata hay kion?!?

6 kay 6 aadmi Fire Department kay thay :X

Kia Samjhay:p

[~Raindrop~]

^^ :lol: I like those!

[Rafeeq]

poor fire fighters.......;)

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Father: What about your result?

Son: Wo headmster sahab ka beta hain na wo fail ho gaya.

Father: Wat about you?

Son: Wo Doctor sahab ka beta haina wo bhi fail.

Father:What's your result?

Son: Khan sab ka beta bhi fail hai.

Father:you idiot! I'm asking about you.

Son:To aap kaunse Albert Einstein ho jo apka beta pass hua hoga.

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Santa : are aapka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai, kya khilate ho?
banta : ye sher hi hai, saala pyar mohabbat ke chakkar me padkar kutte jaisa ho gaya hai.

Say NO to Valentine's Day!!!!

[IslamicRevival]

Father: What about your result?

Son: Wo headmster sahab ka beta hain na wo fail ho gaya.

Father: Wat about you?

Son: Wo Doctor sahab ka beta haina wo bhi fail.

Father:What's your result?

Son: Khan sab ka beta bhi fail hai.

Father:you idiot! I'm asking about you.

Son:To aap kaunse Albert Einstein ho jo apka beta pass hua hoga.

:D LOL Dont understand Urdu that well but this was pretty simple to decipher..for some unknown reason :)

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^ aapku rep. points dene ke liye paise lagte kya jo lol bolneke liye quote karrai?

[IslamicRevival]

^ aapku rep. points dene ke liye paise lagte kya jo lol bolneke liye quote karrai?

Hahaha :D Im not even going to bother replying in Urdu LOL

Rep Sent..For Free!!:D

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Ek shaayar garibi se tang aakar Daaku Ban gaya.

Dakaiti karne ek bank gaya aur bola-

Arz hai-
Takdir me jo hai wahi Milega,
Takdir me jo hai wahi Milega,
...
Hands Up koi apni jagah se nahi Hilega.


phir Cashier se kaha.

kuch khwaab meri aankho se nikaal do,
kuch khwaab meri aankho se nikaal do,
...
Jo kuch bhi tumhare paas hai jaldi se is bag me daal do.


Bahut koshish karta hun teri yaad bhulane ki,
Bahut koshish karta hun teri yaad bhulane ki,
...
koi koshish na kare police ko bulane ki.


Bhula de mujhko kya jata hai tera,
Bhula de mujhko kya jata hai tera,
...
Main goli maar dunga,jo kisi ne picha kiya mera.

;D;D;D


No quoting of the post please.

['Aleena]

Mayawati apne friend Lalu ke ghar GOAT le ke jati hai..

Lalu: E Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho ?

Mayawati: Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai

Funny Lalu: Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!

******

Santa ek Sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.

Funny Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

[Tilmeez]

Polio kay Qatray pilanay wali team nay pathan kay ghar ka darwaza khatkhatya.
Pathan bahir aya or team ko dekha or apni begum ko Awaaz dee, "Begum Bandook or Kartoos kahan hain?"
Polio team yeh sun kar bhag gai.
Pathan un kay pechay gia or un ko pakar kar kaha... Dartay kion ho yeh mery bachon kay naam hain :X

[Tilmeez]

I would like some brothers to please pay attention to the lesson in following joke :X

1 Sahib dosray sahib say: Aap ka Kutta to bilkul Shair Dikhta hay, Kia khilatay hain aap is ko?
Dosra Admi: O bhai yeh Shair he hay, Sala Piyar Muhabat kay chakkar main per kar Kuttay jaisa ho gia hay. :D

['Abd Al-Maajid]

See post number 243 :D http://www.islamicboard.com/urdu/134...ml#post1409187

['Aleena]

1 Sahib dosray sahib say: Aap ka Kutta to bilkul Shair Dikhta hay, Kia khilatay hain aap is ko?
Dosra Admi: O bhai yeh Shair he hay, Sala Piyar Muhabat kay chakkar main per kar Kuttay jaisa ho gia hay.

:lol:

I would like some brothers to please pay attention to the lesson in following joke

lesson for sisters: Be careful, saare sher baad mei kuttay ban jaatey hain:p

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^ aap ghalat shiksha liye wo kahaani se...:p

['Aleena]

^ aap ghalat shiksha liye wo kahaani se...

Guruji, fir aap hi gyan baat dijiye...

agar gyan hai toh:p

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Guruji, fir aap hi gyan baat dijiye...

agar gyan hai toh:p

Shiksha ye hai ki pyar mohabbat ke chakkar me mat padna kyun ki iski wajah se sher kutta banjata hai naaki har sher kutta ban jaata hai baad me.

bahu tchota sa farq hai bono baaton me...notice the difference. agar nai dikha to lite lo :p

['Aleena]

lesson for sisters: Be careful, saare sher baad mei kuttay ban jaatey hain

Shiksha ye hai ki pyar mohabbat ke chakkar me mat padna kyun ki iski wajah se sher kutta banjata hai naaki har sher kutta ban jaata hai baad me.

bhai saab mera bhi wahi matlab tha, par khusoosan ladkiyon ke liye tha.

Thoda soche ki taleef kariye to inshaAllah samajh me aa jaega

['Abd Al-Maajid]

never mind. anyone post next joke :p

['Abd Al-Maajid]

It's my turn now.

Ek kawwa pyasa tha
jug me thoda paani tha
kawwa daala kankar
paani aaya upar
kawwa piya paani
hogayi meri khaani

['Abd Al-Maajid]

Zyada nai...chote rehne jab yaad kara tha...:p

[tigerkhan]

1 Sahib dosray sahib say: Aap ka Kutta to bilkul Shair Dikhta hay, Kia khilatay hain aap is ko?
Dosra Admi: O bhai yeh Shair he hay, Sala Piyar Muhabat kay chakkar main per kar Kuttay jaisa ho gia hay.

OMG shukar ha ma sher nhe...i am a TIGER....

wasay aside from joke, its true "ya eshiq nhe ha asan..ek aag ka darya ha or doub kay jana ha...even if u say of love with ALLAH SWT...

['Abd Al-Maajid]

^That's not tiger, that is a leopard.

ya eshiq nhe ha asan..ek aag ka darya ha or doub kay jana ha

Whose line is this? Allama Iqbal's?

[tigerkhan]

i dont know but Nusrat Fateh Ali khan had song this Ghazal....