Shaking Hands With the Opposite Sex

[madeenahsh]

Asallam alykum warahmatullahi


The Touch
Author: Abu Khaliyl

Indeed, Allaah has forbidden the Muslims from fornication and all the pathways, which lead to it. He (T) has said (which means):

"And do not come near zinaa (fornication)! Indeed, it is an abomination, and an evil way."
(Al-Israa': 32)

Among the many things that excite passions between a man and a woman, is touching. Thus, touching, which opens the door to fornication, is also forbidden as it is a form of fornication, since the Prophet (S) said:

The eyes fornicate. Their fornication is the (illegal) look. The hands fornicate. Their fornication is the touch. The feet fornicate. Their fornication is the walking (towards a woman). The heart desires, and the private parts either confirm it or deny it. (Al-Bukhaaree)

Unfortunately, some form of this type of fornication is unavoidable. Although, we may not commit the indecent sexual act itself, indeed, our eyes, our hands, and our feet fornicate at least once in our lives. There is no doubt about that, as the Prophet (S) said:

Every one of the sons of Aadam has his share of fornication written for him. (Al-Bukhaaree)

Therefore, we must try our best to avoid fornication and every pathway leading to it. Since the hand has the capability of fornicating, then it is forbidden for the woman to touch a man that is not a mahram to her. A mahram is someone that the Muslim woman is permitted to uncover (her veil) in front of. They consist of her father, husband, brother, mother's brothers, father's brothers, and all the others mentioned in Sooraat an-Noor: 31 in the Qur'aan. We shall present a brief look at the evidences prohibiting non-related men and women from touching each other, from three perspectives:

The Warning from the Prophet (S)

The Prophet (S) said:

It is better for a spike to be driven into your head than for you to touch a woman that is not permissible for you (to touch). (Recorded by at-Tabaraanee in al-Kabeer)

According to the above narration, we can plainly see the prohibition of a man touching a woman. Although the Prophet (S) did not directly command the Muslims to not do it, his statements show the severity of the consequences of committing such an act. If it were allowed to touch non-related men and women, then the Prophet (S) would not have spoken so drastically of the one who does so. Consequently, it is forbidden for the man to touch any woman that he is not a mahram for, as well as a woman to touch any man that is not a mahram to her. This is the opinion that the majority of the scholars have taken and it is the truth of which there is no doubt.

Ahmad Bin Hanbal (r) said:

"The specified look at women-strangers, as well as touching them is forbidden."(Al-Muntahaa)

Commenting on the hadeeth, al-Albaanee said:

"In this hadeeth, there is a severe threat to he who touches a woman that is not permissible for him. In it is also a proof for the prohibition of shaking hands with women, because that entails touching without a doubt. "(As-Saheehah: no. 226)

Apart from the above-mentioned men, the Muslim woman is not allowed to touch any man whether Muslim or non-Muslim. If she does so then she has fallen into sin and commenced on one of the many pathways toward fornication. And we seek Allaah's refuge from that!

Arguments

Although the above evidences and ruling based on such, may seem clear and evident, some raise arguments which may seem contradictory to what is established. However, they do not present a contradiction, and will be answered:

No Prohibition

Someone may say, "The Prophet (S) did not directly prohibit not touching women. His not doing so is only his
Sunnah (example) and something only for him."

The claim that he (S) did not prohibit it, is a claim that could only be made by those who lack the knowledge of basic fiqh pricnibles. It is through these princibles that we understand how to apply Allaah's legislation. Among these basic princibles are the following;

1. Something is obligatory to avoid, if not doing so would incurr the commission of something prohibted. He (S) said;

It is better for a spike to be driven into your head than for you to touch a woman that is not permissible for you (to touch).

So avoiding "touching a woman" is obligatory, since it is worse that driving a spike into your head. So such a naive statment implies the following; "The Prophet (S) did not prohibit driving a spike into one's own head, rather, he only avoiding doing it as a Sunnah that was particular to him."!!!?

2. The usage of the statment "not permissible" implies "not permissible", unless there is a text to clarify that it is only disliked or abrogated, etc.

Ambiguity

One may say, "The hadeeth is not clear, since the word used for touch (massa) can either mean a touch with sexual desire or a touch without desire. Therefore, a touch with no lust involved is allowed (i.e. with an old man)."

This would be a possibility if there were conflicting texts, which is not the case here. For example, does touching the private part break wudhu' or not. Some narrations say, "It is part of him", whereas another says that it requires wudhu'. In this case, when two texts coincide, harmonization must be made, or abrogation must be demonstrated. So then this claim is a possibility. But on the other hand, passing wind breaks wudhu', weather it is done out of pleasure or not, and no one claims otherwise, and this is because there is no text to require that!


Not In The Qur'an

One may claim, "The command for not touching is in a hadeeth and not in the Qur'aan. Therefore, Allaah has not prohibited it.".

There are many texts to prove that the one who disobeys the Messenger has disobeyed Allaah. Therefore, when a person says this, it is more important for them to repent from the disbelief that they have expressed than to be concerned with the issue that we are discussing. Indeed saying a statement of kufr like this one, and believing in it, is worse than having a spike driven in one's head. Therefore we can only say as Allaah has said to Muhammad (S);

"Then if they disobey you, say, "Indeed I am innocent of what you do."" (Ash-Sha'raa' 26:216)

This is a two step process, first innocence is claimed, and then;

"So they disobeyed the Messengers of their Lord, so He punished them all with abounding destruction." (Al-Haaqah 69:10)

Then all of those who disobey the Messenger (S) are destroyed, either in this life or the Hereafter. So indeed this is a matter much worse than a spike in the head.

The Rule of Necessity

It is allowable for a man to touch a woman not related to him in the case of emergency, such as when a woman has no option but to be treated by a male-doctor, and she is in dire need of treatment, or when there is a life-or-death emergency. These examples fall under the rule of necessity.

[Safa]

:sl:

Also, I would like to ask whether you think refusing to shake hands during an interview adversely affects the chance of getting the job?

No, that's not the case everywhere. It all depends on how people look at things.

Contrary to your story, I have a friend who applied for a job. Before she had the interview she refused to shake hands with the interviewer and explained to him her religious obligations. The manager (I think it was) was impressed and looked at it as a modest act and respected her beliefs. My friend later got the job.

When it comes to interviews, there is no reason for an exception since sisters aren't supposed to shake hands with any non-mahram men.

:w:

[quran4me]

salamu alykum sister muslimah i ask allah the most high to bless u with paradise,amiin. first of all u mentioned that shaking the hand of the oppisite sex is haram that's correct as for the evidence it is the hadith of the beloved prophet <SAW> whomsoever shakes the hand of the oppisite gender is like shakeing with an iron bar that was burnt from the fire of hell. so i advise u sister that not to shake the hand of ur non mahram. u mentioned also about the chances of getting a job i remind u about the ayah mentioned in the glorious quran < wa man yataqillah yaj'al lahu makhraja wa yarzqhu min haythu laa yahtasib> and for those who fear allah, allah will prepare a way out, and provide him from sources he could never imagine. and from this ayah my beloved sister i narrate to u a story that happened in the us. A man signed up for this job, i think it was a computer tecnision. so the boss put him on the waiting list, so this man waited for about a year untill suddenly he gets a phone call, by the way this man is a non muslim, he gets this call from the boss saying that he got the job, the man was so exited, but before the interview by a couple of weeks this man became a muslim,so when it came time for the interview he walked in the office with a beard and a jilbab on, looking at him in extreme shock the boss says, what the hell is this u can't have a beard and were that dress in here.what happened to u. the muslim brother than replys i have submmited to the lord of the universe. so the man said u can work on a condition that u shave ur beard and take ur dress off, so the brother replyed with all sincerity NEVER my lord orders me with this, either i obey u and dis obey my lord, or i obey my lord and dis obey my u. so the boss stund with the words of this brother said, NO OBEY UR LORD AND DIS OBEY ME,I HAVE SEEN IN U THIS FIRMNESS AND THIS IS WHO WERE LOOKING FOR , TOMMORROW MORNING U ARE THE NEW MANEGER OF THIS OFFICE. allahu akbar do u see sister the firmness of this great man and the fear of allah that he had, so allah the most high granted him with this job. so i advise u my dear sis to be patiant and allah will help u, in conclusion i ask allah to make as all firm on the religion and to bless as with good jobs, for verily he is able to do all things. wa salam ur brother in islam ibrahim sarary sydney,australia:happy1:

[- Qatada -]

:sl: warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

subhan Allah! wow jazak Allah khayr akhi for that really good article. i agree with bro quran4me, lets stick to islam and put our main objectives within islam first, the rest can come later.. this way Allaah (swt) will help us, we will be successful in this life and the afterlife insha Allaah.

if the boss is going to dissaprove of your islamic teachings, opinions etc. then they dont deserve to have you as their client, and later on they may even force you to distance away from islam even more.

if you stay patient - you could insha Allah get a even better job which could strenghten your faith instead of weakening it. remember that this life is only temporary whereas the afterlife is forever, so lets work hard and remain patient in this life for Allaah (swt) and you will get your just reward in this life and the afterlife insha Allaah.


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

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[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

But remember Islam comes first, As bro Akhee said, that may be the first step, but in sake of the job u may distance urself from Islam even more which is obviosly not a good option. Remember, that if you leave something for the sake of Allah, then Allah will undoubtedly return to you something infinetly better Inshallah.

[Muhammad]

[THREADS MERGED]

:sl:

Question :

Is it allowable for a muslim woman to greet a muslim man by shaking hands?

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all. Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045).
There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay’ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay’ah, as he did with men; their bay’ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay’ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma’ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay’ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: “So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: ‘I have accepted your bay’ah by words.’ By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting their bay’ah; he accepted their bay’ah by saying ‘I have accepted your bay’ah on this basis.’”
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674).
Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

:w:

[Muhammad]

:sl:

Here is a more detailed answer which covers the issue of having your hand covered:

Question :

I would like a detailed answer on the ruling on a man shaking hands with a woman, and the views of the four imams and the majority of scholars on that.

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

It is not permissible for a man who believes in Allaah and His Messenger to put his hand in the hand of a women who is not permissible for him or who is not one of his mahrams. Whoever does that has wronged himself (i.e., sinned).

It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”

Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.

This hadeeth alone is sufficient to deter and to instill the obedience required of us by Allaah, because it implies that touching women may lead to temptation and immorality.

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

‘O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bay‘ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse’
[al-Mumtahanah 60:12]

‘Aa’ishah said: Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’”
(narrated by Muslim, 1866)

It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aa’ishah told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”
Narrated by Muslim, 1866

This infallible one, the best of mankind, the leader of the sons of Adam on the Day of Resurrection, did not touch women. This is despite the fact that the oath of allegiance was originally given by hand. So how about men other than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)?

It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”

Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (4181) and Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2513.

Secondly:

It is not permissible to shake hands even with a barrier in between, such as shaking hands from beneath a garment and the like. The hadeeth that was narrated allowing that is da’eef (weak).

It was narrated from Ma’qal ibn Yassaar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to shake hands with women from beneath a garment.”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat, 2855.

Al-Haythami said:
This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and al-Awsat. Its isnaad includes ‘Ataab ibn Harb, who is da’eef (weak).
Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 6/39.

Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said:
The words of ‘Aa’ishah, “He used to accept the women’s oath of allegiance by words only” mean that he did so without taking their hands or shaking hands with them. This indicates that the bay’ah of men was accepted by taking their hands and shaking hands with them, as well as by words, and this is how it was. What ‘Aa’ishah mentioned was the custom.

Some of the mufassireen mentioned that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called for a vessel of water and dipped his hand in it, then the women dipped their hands in it. And some of them said that he did not shake hands with them from behind a barrier and had a Qatari cloak over his hand. And it was said that ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) shook hands with them on his behalf. None of these reports are sound, especially the last one, How could ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) have done something that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was ma’soom (infallible), would not do?
Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The most correct view is that this (i.e., shaking hands with women from behind a barrier) is not allowed at all, because of the general meaning of the hadeeth, according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women;” and so as to ward off the means that may lead to evil.
(Adapted from Hashiyat Majmoo’at Rasaa’il fi’l-Hijaab wa’l-Sufoor, p. 69)

The same ruling applies to shaking hands with old women; this is also haraam because of the general meaning of the texts on this issue. The reports that say it is permissible are da’eef (weak).

Al-Zayla’i said:
“As for the report that ‘Abu Bakr used to shake hands with old women, it is also ghareeb.”
(Nasab al-Raayah, 4/240)

Ibn Hajar said:
I cannot find this hadeeth.
(al-Diraayah fi Takhreej Ahaadeeth al-Hidaayah, 2/225)

Thirdly:

With regard to the views of the four imams, they are as follows:

1 – The Hanafi madhhab:

Ibn Nujaym said:
It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman’s face or hands even if there is no risk of desire because it is haraam in principle and there is no necessity that would allow it.

Al-Bahr al-Raa’iq, 8/219

2 – The Maaliki madhhab:

Muhammad ibn Ahmad (‘Ulaysh) said:
It is not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of a non-mahram woman, and it is not permissible for him to put his hand on hers without a barrier. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never accepted a woman’s oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; rather he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” According to another report, “His hand never touched the hand of a woman, rather he would accept their oath of allegiance by words only.”
(Manh al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223)

3 – The Shaafa’i madhhab:

Al-Nawawi said:
It is not permissible to touch a woman in any way.
Al-Majmoo’, 4/515.
Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said:
This indicates that the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not touch the hand of any woman apart from his wives and concubines, whether in the case of accepting the oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he did not do that despite the fact that he was infallible and beyond suspicion, then it is even more essential that others heed this prohibition. It appears from the texts that he refrained from doing that because it was haraam for him to do so. The fuqaha’ among our companions and others said that it is haraam to touch a non-mahram woman even if that is not touching parts of her body that are not ‘awrah, such as her face. But they differed with regard to looking when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah. The prohibition on touching is stronger than the prohibition on looking, and it is haraam when there is no necessity that would allow it. If it is the case of necessity, e.g. medical treatment, removing a tooth or treating the eyes, etc., if there is no woman who can do that, then it is permissible for a non-mahram to do that because it is the case of necessity.
Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45, 46

4 – The Hanbali madhhab

Ibn Muflih said:
Abu ‘Abd-Allaah – i.e., Imam Ahmad – was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. He said, No, and was emphatic that it is haraam. I said, Should he shake hands with her from beneath his garment? He said, No.
Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen also favoured the view that it is prohibited, and gave the reason that touching is more serious than looking.
AlAdaab al-Shar’iyyah, 2/257

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)

:w:

[Muhammad]

:sl:

shall i ignore his hand and walk past? (no that's to evil and the teacher's will kill me) hmm help plz

Indeed, this is a problem faced by many people in western societies and it appears in all kinds of settings and situations. I remember reading a thread in a different forum about possible ways to avoid shaking hands, and there were some interesting suggestions - you can read it here Insha'Allaah:

http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthre...pposite+gender


Here is one reply from there:

"Put your hand over your heart, and say "I'm sorry, I don't shake hands due to religious reasons." or something. If you make it automatic to put your hand over your heart then not only does it make it easier to resist shaking hands (which can be tough the first couple of times), but it seems like a nice gesture to the other person."

:w:

[Protected_Diamond]

:sl: warhmatulahi wabaarkthu

I don't think i'll be able to do that in front of 100 poeple watching me so i've decided to talk to the teacher about it and insha Allah she'll give my cirtificates beforehand so i don't have to go up on stage and it would prevent the man feeling bad

:w: warhmatulahi wabaarkthu

[Protected_Diamond]

:sl: warhmatulahi wabaarkthu

sorry i forgot to say jazahka Allah khair so much bro!

:w: warhmatulahi wabaarkthu

[Muhammad]

:sl:

Baarakallahu feek Proud Ukht.

Modez, it is only due to the fact that we live in non-muslim countries that we find ourselves in such situations, and shaking hands with someone from the opposite gender should not be the cause of receiving/being denied a place for a job. Hence shaking hands is only a non-muslim culture, whereas as Muslims it is our duty to try to practice our deen as best we can.

I am not saying all Muslims avoid this evil, or that it is easy, all I can say is what Islam says about it and that we should try to live our lives accordingly as much as possible Insha'Allaah. I quote from above:

Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.

:w:

[Protected_Diamond]

:sl: warhmatulahi wabaarkthu

I don't think it's hard to avoid shaking hand because if you tell them verbally im sure people will understand and who knows? they might even respect you for it, insha Allah Allah s.w.a will give us all the courage and Im going to avoid shaking hands from men from now on insha Allah :peace:

:w: warhmatulahi wabaarkthu

[Ameeratul Layl]

:sl:

JazakAllah for the posts brothers and sisters!!

Allah ma3akum
p.s: I dont there wud be enough soap in the world if I shook hands with the opposite. No offence!! That it would feel so wierd shaking hands with a man!!!

Allah ma3akum

[~*~Serene~*~]

[THREADS MERGED]

:sl:

Question :

[INDENT]Is it allowable for a muslim woman to greet a muslim man by shaking hands?

I already know this answer, so i avoid shaking hands.
Is there anything on shaking hands of non-muslims man?

[Hajar]

^are you okay? brother muhammad already posted this and i read it. let me rephrase.

IS there anything from the quran or hadiths saying you can't shake hands of NON-MUSLIMS?

:sl:

Shaking hands in general with the Opposite of sex isnt right.

For a woman to shake hands with someone who is not her mahram is something that may lead to temptation for both parties, so it must be avoided.

So even if he isnt muslim its still wrong to do so......

There is nothing wrong with the shar’i greeting of salaam in which there is no fitnah and no shaking hands, and which does not give rise to doubts and does not involve any softness in speech, and in which hijaab is observed and there is no being alone with a member of the opposite sex, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”

[al-Ahzaab 33:32]

At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the women used to greet him and ask him questions concerning things they did not understand, and the women also used to ask the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning things they did not understand.

With regard to a woman shaking hands with other women, or shaking hands with men who are her mahrams, such as her brothers, uncles, etc., there is nothing wrong with that.

:w:

[- Qatada -]

jazak Allaah khayr sis hajar..

sis zulekha - because the hadith says that its haraam for a non-mahram to shake hands with someone of the opposite gender, it applies to the kuffar and also the believing muslim men.

it doesn't exclude the kuffar as it explicibly states that touching non mahrams (in any way including hand shaking) is not allowed, and if you think into the reality of it - the muslim men would be more likely to back off from such a thing, whereas the kuffar would do anything immoral they wish. as we've discussed in other posts, its better not to do something haraam and lose a job - instead of doing something haraam and doing the job, because this could lead to having to do more haraam acts in the future, even though a hand shake at the beginning may seem innocent. eg. everyone may think your weird for not doing a handshake at the beginning, but if you did do this - they may think a person is too weird to do something else, which could lead to worser and worser situations. therefore its better not to even get close to the act, instead of regretting it later on.

you can read comments off the following link insha Allaah.

Is it permissible to shake hands for a job interview?
http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?t=6722

jazak Allaah khayr.


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

[~*~Serene~*~]

sis zulekha - because the hadith says that its haraam for a non-mahram to shake hands with someone of the opposite gender, it applies to the kuffar and also the believing muslim men.

Jazakallahu khairan akhee. Thanks for qualifying the "non-maharam" part. as for the link. I didn't really find a definite answer :smile: , but don't woory i get the non-mahram part, so i know it goes both ways.

jazakallahu khairan hajar. i was already aware of what you posted but thanks for your time sis.

[hidaayah]

When we shake hands with one another, sins fall from the shaking of the two hands. This is confirmed by a hadith of the Prophet (saw). Yet for some reason, when we are busy in a conversation and other brothers are walking by and offering their salaam, we have so much trouble looking them in eyes when we shake their hands.

We carry on with our conversations and put our right hands up so the lowly passer-by can shake it and be off while we mutter a "wa alaikum assalam" under our breaths.

No eye contact, no smile (out of which we could easily earned reward for charity), no recognition that a member of the Ummah of Muhammad (saw), a follower of khatm-al-ambiyaai w-al mursaleen (the seal of the prophets and messengers), a servant of Allah, a beloved of the Lord of the Universe, one who may be inshallah a Companion of the Right Hand, just shook our hands.

That such a person, a brother in the Deen, our ally in this Dunya, one who stands in your rows in Salaah, a friend, a creation of the King of Kings who has willingly submitted to Him, not only shook your hand, causing the release of your minor sins, but also prayed for Peace and Blessings upon you from Allah (swt) by conveying Salaam.

Knowing all this, we often put our hands out while looking at someone/something else, talking to someone else, and let them keeping walking. Especially at dawats, parties, etc.

"There are no two Muslims that meet each other, then they shake hands except that the both of them are forgiven of their sins before they leave each other."

So next time someone puts their hand out and says salaam, remember the minor sins that fall and smile at your brother.

source: http://www.xanga.com/Believer2/399556816/item.html

[Lina]

:sl:


Subhan'Allah.

JazakAllah Alkhair, such beautiful words Alhamdulilah.

:w:

[E'jaazi]

As-Salaamu-Alaikum!

Shaking hands between the sexes is NOT permissible! We have also been instructed to lower our gazes when around the opposite sex. But since your post is in reference to shaking hands, I will provide the evidence for that only.



Islam Questions & Answers
www.islam-qa.com
Question Reference Number:: 2459
Title: Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex

Home > Manners > Relationships between the two genders >
Question:


Is it allowable for a muslim woman to greet a muslim man by shaking hands?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all. Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045).

There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay’ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay’ah, as he did with men; their bay’ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay’ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma’ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay’ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: “So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: ‘I have accepted your bay’ah by words.’ By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting their bay’ah; he accepted their bay’ah by saying ‘I have accepted your bay’ah on this basis.’”

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674).

Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.



Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


&#169;Copyright Islam Q&A 1997-2000

[E'jaazi]

As-Salaamu-Alaikum!

As for getting a job, remember that all things come from Allah! If Allah wills that you should have such and such a job, then you will, regardless of who you are dealing with. I have never had any trouble when obeying Allah and His Messenger. If you go for a job interview and don't get hired becaused you obeyed Allah, then maybe Allah did not will that for you and Insha Allah, He will give you something better - And Allah knows best.

[khurm]

salam shaking a hand with a female or different gender to you is not allowed in islam when a person goes to find a job and if a women is taking the interview after the interview you are supposed to shake her/his hand shaking the females hand is not pernissable in islam. as Allah says in the quran o you who belive obey allah and obey the messenger (s.a.w) render not vian your deeds.that is what Allah and the messenger (s.a.w) said a person did not make this up so we have to obey it

[Hemoo]

its said clearly in sorat AL-AHZAB

033.021YUSUFALI translation: Ye have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for any one whose hope is in Allah and the Final Day, and who engages much in the Praise of Allah.
PICKTHAL translation: Verily in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and the Last Day, and remembereth Allah much.
SHAKIR translation: Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah an excellent exemplar for him who hopes in Allah and the latter day and remembers Allah much.

so i ask all muslims to have taqwa for allah .

[Hemoo]

and about the other hadeeth that says "There are no two Muslims that meet each other, then they shake hands except that the both of them are forgiven of their sins before they leave each other."

and as it came in the books of Saheeh(authentic) al-Jaami` and da`iif(weak) al-Jaami` by shiekh al-Albaani there is indeed truthful hadeeth's about the shaking hands between muslims and there are also other false hadeeth's and here what i found.

in both the books by Tirmidhi (tirmizi) and abu dawud and others

Narated By Al-Bara' ibn Azib : The Prophet (pbuh) said: Two Muslims will not meet and shake hands having their sins forgiven them before they separate.

and the imam al-Albaani classed it as good hadeeth and so did the imam Tirmidhi.

**note that the good hadeeth means its authentic but in a lower level.

but there is another hadeeth in which shiekh al-Albaani classed it as weak hadeeth and its mentioned in the book by abu dawud and here it is.

Narated By Al-Bara' ibn Azib : The Prophet (pbuh) said: If two Muslims meet, shake hands, praise Allah, and ask Him for forgiveness, they will be forgiven.

and its clearly obvious that the hadeeth means when two muslims as in the case of two women or the case of two men and it can't be intended to be in the case of a women who meets a non mehrem man.
and allah knows best.

wa alsalam;

[Munda Pakistani]

:sl:

I live in the west, and quite often there is a situation where the normal thing to do would be to shake hands with women. I am aware that this is not allowed in Islam. However, are there any specific hadeeth that deal with the matter?

Also, I am concerned about sending the wrong impression about Islam; there could be better introductions to Islam than an awkward situation and "I don't shake hands". One can imagine what a westerner thinks in such a situation. In light of this, if a man's niyyat is pure, should he shake hands with (non-Muslim) women?

:?

JazakaAllah khairan.

[- Qatada -]

:wasalamex


Check this link out bro insha'Allaah:


Shaking Hands with Women: An Islamic Perspective
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503546332


:salamext:

[Umm Yoosuf]

:w:

I live in the west, and quite often there is a situation where the normal thing to do would be to shake hands with women. I am aware that this is not allowed in Islam. However, are there any specific hadeeth that deal with the matter?

:? If you mean any hadith that support this then yes.

It is narrated that `A’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), said, “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allah, ‘O Prophet! If believing women come unto thee, taking oath of allegiance unto thee that they will ascribe nothing as partner unto Allah, and will neither steal nor commit adultery nor kill their children, nor produce any lie that they have devised between their hands and feet, nor disobey thee in what is right, then accept their allegiance and ask Allah to forgive them. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.’ (Al-Mumtahanah: 12)” `A’ishah said, “Whoever among the believing women agreed to that passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to them, ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And `A’ishah said, “By Allah, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

Also:

It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”

Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.

For futher reading http://63.175.194.25/index.php?cs=pr...83&dgn=4&dgn=2

Also, I am concerned about sending the wrong impression about Islam; there could be better introductions to Islam than an awkward situation and "I don't shake hands". One can imagine what a westerner thinks in such a situation.

Trust once you learn to say "No" often it will be easy plus it opens the door to dawah:)

In light of this, if a man's niyyat is pure, should he shake hands with (non-Muslim) women?

Re-read the above hadith.

[Munda Pakistani]

JazakaAllah for the replies. I see that I was wrong in assuming that it was forbidden in all situations. I needn't have offended the old lady yesterday after all. :hmm:

[madeenahsh]

It is not allowed for a woman to shake the hand of a non-mahram man

Question: Some tribes have customs that go against the pure Sharee'ah. For example, in some places it is customary for the guest to shake the hands of the female host. If he does not do so, it will lead to lots of problems and people will understand it in different ways. What is the best practice to follow given those circumstances?

Response: Shaking the hands of a woman for whom one is not mahram is not allowed. This is based on what is confirmed from the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) Who said, when the women were giving the pledge of allegiance to him, "I do not shake the hands of women." It is also confirmed that 'Aa.ishah said, "By Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) never touched another woman [other than his wives]. He used to take their pledges verbally only." Allaah has said, "Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in [the meeting with] Allaah and the Last Day and remembers Allaah much" (al-Ahzaab 21). Furthermore, shaking hands by women with men that are not mahram is one of the means that leads to temptation for both of them and it is obligatory to avoid it. There is no harm in saying greetings without shaking hands. Any speech of a questionable nature or soft speech must be avoided. This is based on Allaah's statement, {O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty [to Allaah, then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner}, [al-Ahzaab 32]. During the time of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) the women would greet him and ask him questions that were concerning them. This is also how the women used to ask the Companions of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) questions concerning matters of concern to them. There is no harm in women shaking hands with mahram men, such as their fathers, paternal uncles, Maternal Uncles and so forth.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa al-Mar.ah

[Khayal]

:sl:

JazaakAllah


:w:

[Kittygyal]

salam.
When we shake hands with one another, sins fall from the shaking of the two hands. This is confirmed by a hadith of the Prophet (saw). Yet for some reason, when we are busy in a conversation and other brothers are walking by and offering their salaam, we have so much trouble looking them in eyes when we shake their hands.

We carry on with our conversations and put our right hands up so the lowly passer-by can shake it and be off while we mutter a "wa alaikum assalam" under our breaths.

No eye contact, no smile (out of which we could easily earned reward for charity), no recognition that a member of the Ummah of Muhammad (saw), a follower of khatm-al-ambiyaai w-al mursaleen (the seal of the prophets and messengers), a servant of Allah, a beloved of the Lord of the Universe, one who may be inshallah a Companion of the Right Hand, just shook our hands.

That such a person, a brother in the Deen, our ally in this Dunya, one who stands in your rows in Salaah, a friend, a creation of the King of Kings who has willingly submitted to Him, not only shook your hand, causing the release of your minor sins, but also prayed for Peace and Blessings upon you from Allah (swt) by conveying Salaam.

Knowing all this, we often put our hands out while looking at someone/something else, talking to someone else, and let them keeping walking. Especially at dawats, parties, etc.

"There are no two Muslims that meet each other, then they shake hands except that the both of them are forgiven of their sins before they leave each other."

So next time someone puts their hand out and says salaam, remember the minor sins that fall and smile at your brother.
w.salam

[youngsister]

:sl: WOW kITTY thanks loved it! Masha Allah!:w:

[Khayal]

:sl:

Jazaak ALLAH khayr..:rose:

:w:

.

[azim]

Asalaamu alaykum.

We've all had that cringe-worthy moments, you're at work/school/interview and a member of the opposite sex puts their hand out... theres a few moments of awkwardness while you stumble over yourself trying to stutter out an explanation, all the while, the enthusiasm of the one who wanted to shake your hand turns to either embaressment or anger or insult. What could have been a beautiful start to a relationship is now forever stained and will always haunt you.

So.. what can we do? I thought we could start a thread on different ways to say no to a handshake.

Here are some of my methods: -

• Keeping your hands out of sight/preoccupied - always carry something with you, especially at job interviews, it usually stops the interviewee from offering a handshake if you look busy.
• Ignoring the hand - if you always maintain eye contact and pretend you didn't see the hand - its less embaressing for the person to retract and they usually will quite quickly.
• Not always possible, but sometimes you can say something alone the lines of "sorry, my hands reserved for my wife". It can either come off sounding extremely romantic and sweet and will forever make the person think well of Muslims - or it can come off sounding creepy and weird and sort of perverted. Use with caution. (PS: If your a sister, I wouldn't try "sorry, my hands are reserved for my husband" - you'll come of sounding oppressed unfortunately).

More to come insha'allah...

(PS: Please post any funny incidents you've had related to this topic too!).

[Muhammad]

:sl:

More ideas can be found in this thread: http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-...ram-man-2.html