Today i wanted to share something thats been bothering me a lot lately.
I am constantly reminded by all the suitors that I am not good enough coz I have brown/golden complexion.
Although I am very similar to my elder sisters in terms of features but I am a little darker in complexion when compared to them. My sisters have never had any issue with proposals and have got married AlhamdulliAllah.
So I have done my masters and I earn more than what most of the proposals ( through some marriage consultants )
are sent. I am passionate about cooking and very particular cleanliness. Most important of all i offer namaz 5 times a day and read Quran (though my Arabic is not that great) .
So the point I am trying to make is though I have got some qualities in me why is it that I am still not preferred by anyone. It makes me feel unwanted and not being worthy of any happiness.
When i was in college a lot of other faith people walked up to me to compliment me . I was complimented for a pretty face and for looking a lot younger than my actual age.
Now that my mom and brother have started looking for matches I am rejected almost all the time. Sometimes someone rejects by saying she is not fair and some reject by saying she is not tall enough. Once a lady rolled up her sleeves to tell my mom that she is looking for someone who is as fair as her arm. I felt humiliated in front of everyone.
My question if Allah has chosen this body and complexion for me then why I am being insulted and humiliated . Nobody even tries to know the qualities that i have and rejects me just coz of my complexion.
Allah says in Quran that we were made different so that we could be recognised then why all the difference.
Sadly the only discrimination I see coming is from Muslims not people of other faith.
I feel that I am not worthy of happiness and should give up on the idea of marriage (live all alone).
Tbh, I don’t know what to say about that. Physically, my skin hurts (it is very dry, gets cracks, hard to do wudhu - starting to just do Wudhu quick cuz water hurts my dry skin…. Maybe because of the cold weather, Allahu alam)
It is time I seek cure with the Quran. Cuz I’ve been fighting the waswass for almost 6 months. Lol. Pathetic of me lol.
I keep telling myself Islam is pure monotheism, worship only Allah, etc. Seems like I haven’t been cured yet.
All that waswass has gotten to me.
Anyways, I know what to do, In shaa' Allah, what about you?
Actually that soap works with rough dry skin too, it says in the description in that link
I do not think this is good to speak about. Let's not go into backbiting about anyone.
JazakAllah khair
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
It's not about backbiting, I just want to know the reason genuinely. He was a very sincere person and I would really like reading his advices and posts.
We don’t usually like to mention reasons for people’s bans in public. The brother may have certainly been sincere and if he wants to, he can contact us through email or Helpdesk to discuss the reason for his ban.
Today i wanted to share something thats been bothering me a lot lately.
I am constantly reminded by all the suitors that I am not good enough coz I have brown/golden complexion.
Although I am very similar to my elder sisters in terms of features but I am a little darker in complexion when compared to them. My sisters have never had any issue with proposals and have got married AlhamdulliAllah.
So I have done my masters and I earn more than what most of the proposals ( through some marriage consultants )
are sent. I am passionate about cooking and very particular cleanliness. Most important of all i offer namaz 5 times a day and read Quran (though my Arabic is not that great) .
So the point I am trying to make is though I have got some qualities in me why is it that I am still not preferred by anyone. It makes me feel unwanted and not being worthy of any happiness.
When i was in college a lot of other faith people walked up to me to compliment me . I was complimented for a pretty face and for looking a lot younger than my actual age.
Now that my mom and brother have started looking for matches I am rejected almost all the time. Sometimes someone rejects by saying she is not fair and some reject by saying she is not tall enough. Once a lady rolled up her sleeves to tell my mom that she is looking for someone who is as fair as her arm. I felt humiliated in front of everyone.
My question if Allah has chosen this body and complexion for me then why I am being insulted and humiliated . Nobody even tries to know the qualities that i have and rejects me just coz of my complexion.
Allah says in Quran that we were made different so that we could be recognised then why all the difference.
Sadly the only discrimination I see coming is from Muslims not people of other faith.
I feel that I am not worthy of happiness and should give up on the idea of marriage (live all alone).
these people are stupid...i feel a big urge to curse them but i wont...that lady especially deserves a big slap for being so offensive...
sorry but im angry how these people who have so many chances ruin all of them and decent people dont even get chances...you are a smart and educated girl,loves to cook,you are clean,you are religious,what the hell do they want more?....it makes no sense....im very white with green eyes and i have been ''humiliated'' in terms of religion and knowledge from brown people..skin makes no difference at all!!...its the beauty outside that matters...
dont loose hope...and dont give up the idea of marriage...i make duaa the whooole time to get married to a nice girl one day....loneliness kills you everyday slowly...trust me..keep making duaa and try
these people are stupid...i feel a big urge to curse them but i wont...that lady especially deserves a big slap for being so offensive...
sorry but im angry how these people who have so many chances ruin all of them and decent people dont even get chances...you are a smart and educated girl,loves to cook,you are clean,you are religious,what the hell do they want more?....it makes no sense....im very white with green eyes and i have been ''humiliated'' in terms of religion and knowledge from brown people..skin makes no difference at all!!...its the beauty outside that matters...
dont loose hope...and dont give up the idea of marriage...i make duaa the whooole time to get married to a nice girl one day....loneliness kills you everyday slowly...trust me..keep making duaa and try
Assalam o alaikum rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
May Allah grant the sister pious husband.
And may He also grant you pious wife aswell. Try be patient. Allah knows what is best for you. Marriage is only decreed by Allah the Wise. No black is equal to white no white is equal to black and no Arab is equal to non arab and no non arab is equal to arab. Except who has most Taqwa . Allah knows best.
Try to work hard on your Deen and good deeds may Allah grant u strength.
And may He also grant you pious wife aswell. Try be patient. Allah knows what is best for you. Marriage is only decreed by Allah the Wise.
Ameen may Allah grant you a pious wife too that will be coolness and the most beautiful person in your eyes,who will grant you comfort and peace in heart make things easier for you
We don’t usually like to mention reasons for people’s bans in public. The brother may have certainly been sincere and if he wants to, he can contact us through email or Helpdesk to discuss the reason for his ban.
I do believe Ahmed is a good brother and should be a given another chance. He did have good intentions and was nice. He should not be banned. Please so give him another chance
While, I agree, people do have preferences, let's not deny the impact of colonialism and believing whiteness is better. Media, beauty standards, and colonialism play a huge factor in this. It's honestly annoying how people either downplay or ignore it. Let's be frank: a lot of families hate dark skin based solely on inferiority complex. Let's stop pretending this isn't there. Sadly, this ignorance persists among Muslims and, just as people are allowed to have a preference, people are also allowed to express their dating woes.
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