so to before begin this story i would like to say that i am not like this anymore at all and have changed alot and im the complete opposite i would say im a little too nice now. So as a child i wasn’t the best of a person especially to people i was very aggressive and would fight my friends and family members. i was just overall a very horrible child i regret how i behaved towards people so much as a child even tho i was a child at the time i acted like this everytime someone brings it up of how i used to act i feel so ashamed of how bad of a person i was when i was a kid i just recently caught up with a childhood friend who mentioned it i apologies but they laughed and they see it as a joke and said that we were just kids i just feel so horrible about myself for how i acted especially to the elders and how i would be so sly with them and even get physical for an example push them etc. ik sons don’t get recorded but i just feel negative about myself because i feel like ppl still view me like this but if they get to know me im the literal opposite i just don’t want anyone to see me as a horrible person how do i deal with feeling like this bc it seems silly that i feel this way considering i was a child who hadn’t even hit puberty yet but i just can’t get rid of the feeling that this is what ppl think im like and the fact that they still remember how i acted. I just wish their was time machine so i could change how i acted unfortunately i can’t
The past should be regarded as a lesson and not a life sentence, and you have learned the difference between right and wrong, your conscience is telling you what you should be doing now.
You can't change the past no matter how many times you go over the memories. There might be opportunities to help the people you hurt in the past, you can apologise. If you can't help them, you can change your ways and become the kind and caring person you want to be, as a way of trying to make up for the past.
Reflect on the 99 names of Allah, his mercy, compassion, and three times he reminds us that he is a God who forgives. Repent, always trust in Allah and have hope, pray a blessing on those you have hurt.
May Allah bless you on your journey.
You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
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