Panic buying before lockdown. I saw a man with a trolley load of oysters in Tesco - so Shellfish.
A man walks into the bank and stands on one leg.
The cashier asks, what are you doing?
Checking my balance.
A man fishing on his boat in the middle of a lake wanted a smoke, but had no lighter.
He threw a cigarette in the lake and made his boat a cigarette lighter.
You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
For real, in real life recently, i called my uncle in turkey and he texted me on whatsapp saying, "we're at the repair, call back later," so in order to confuse him I wrote "Putin is my mother!" in turkish.
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