Cute, or Hot?
During jahiliyyah, there were some gurls who were talkin about an
'extremely important subject.'
"What would you prefer more, a cute guy, or a hot guy?"
Cute guy.
Hot guy.
Nah.. both!?
…
Okay.. okay, hot then..
After abit of discussion, they came to a conclusion.
What was it?
Imagine being with a guy who looks like your little brother, you think that's goin to make you excited?
Er.. yeah, a lot of them chose '
Hot'.
A
cute guy is someone who's still got that '
baby face', whereas a '
hot' guy is likely to be a guy who's got the mature face but still '
looks good'.
Why is this important?
So anyways, when we talk about looks – we need that person who looks soo nice that you stop yourself from drooling when you see them.. when you want to "
eat them up!" Who doesn't like cute things eh?
We even know that when you look at someone, what you perceive as beauty will make you like that look, or dislike that look – depending on your tastes. As they say '
beauty is in the eye of the beholder' : -
But we know one thing for sure – whenever Allah sends guidance for us, He sends it for us in all of our matters. He sent that perfect Messenger for us and the salaf knew this well. So whenever the 'ulama have written books on marriage, and the characteristics of the perfect husband – they've always looked at the beauty and features of
Allah's Messenger, and made him the
criterion for perfection in human beauty.
So let's read a brief narration of the looks of Allah's Messenger;
In Shamâ´il al-Muhammadiyyah by Abû ‘Isâ at-Tirmidhî (d. 279 AH) - a description of Allah's Messenger is given in detail:
I asked my uncle, Hind bin Abû Hâlah, [to describe the Prophet, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam,] because it was his habit to do so and I ardently desired that he describe something of his characteristics so that I could relate to them and imitate them. He said,
‘The Messenger of Allâh, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam, was imposing, dignified and one who was greatly honoured and respected. His face shone with resplendence like that of the moon when it was full. He was somewhat taller than a person of medium stature but shorter than a tall person. His head was large with slightly curly hair and if the hair on his forehead parted of its own accord, he would keep it parted, otherwise his hair, when at its longest, would reach the lobes of his ears. He was white skinned with a wide brow, thick curved eyebrows which were completely joined except in the place where they met. Between them was a vein that would throb when angry. He had a long, aquiline nose which shone with a light that would seem to elevate it, whoever did not carefully look at it would think it upturned. He had a thick and full beard with firm cheeks that were not raised. He had a wide mouth, evenly spaced teeth and had a fine line of hair extending from his chest to navel. His neck resembled that of an ivory statue’s, white in colour like smooth silver and he was of a goodly build, finely balanced. His chest and stomach were level and he had a wide chest with broad shoulders. His joints were large, and his skin that would normally be covered with clothes had a lustre about it. He had a line of hair extending from his upper chest to his navel, apart from that, his chest and stomach were bare. The upper part of his chest, his forearms and shoulders had a lot of hair on them. He had long forearms with wide palms and he had heavy and thick hands and feet. His fingers were long but not extremely so, he had high insteps and his feet were smooth and well proportioned because of which water would swiftly flow off them and quickly vanish. When he walked he walked briskly with strength of purpose but placed his feet on the ground softly. When he walked, he took large steps and it was if he was descending a slope. When he turned [to address someone], he turned his entire body. He would constantly lower his gaze looking more to the ground then he would to the sky. Most of the time he would merely glance at something, he would have his Companions walk in front of him and would hurry to greet whoever he met with the salâm.’ [1] 1. (A) In one text the wording is, "He would initiate the salām." I say: perhaps this is the correct wording for this is what is mentioned in al-Bidāyah via the route of Ya'qūb bin Sufyān. Recorded by at-Ţabarānı and al-Bayhaqı with an isnād that is da'ıf jiddan: the man from Banı Tamım is majhūl and Jumay' is da'ıf and some accused him of lying. (T) But all that is mentioned in the ĥadıth is proven by other authentic aĥādıth, Allāh knows best.
So if you think you're beautiful, then compare yourself to Allah's Messenger to see if you really match that human perfection.
2 Pictures - Pick one
Okay, so now imagine. There's this massive body builder on TV, you know – the one who oils all his body up to pick up that metal stick while making funny faces and getting all red. Yeah? That one.
Loads of guys would love to be that muscular, but its hard to keep up with that sort of diet and exercise. And if any women have fallen into the mistake of watching that, then you probably don't want to watch it again.. no seriously, it doesn't look too pretty does it?
But wait. If a woman was shown 2 pictures of two guys –
one extremely built like a body builder, and the other who was a
casual guy who looked quite handsome. Which one do you think she would pick as a husband?
Bros, you would probably say the bodybuilder, right?
When a guy has a
lot of testosterone in his body, it might be that he has less feminine features. So for example, he's likely to have a stronger or broader face, a deeper voice, maybe even more 'thicker' features etc.
(Imagine Vin Diesel.)
Compared to a guy who has
less testosterone in his body, who might have more feminine related features, such as an average sized face, a thinner voice (compared to the extra testosterone guy), and maybe more sharper features.
(imagine Tom Cruise?)
Who will she pick...
Looking at the pictures of the two guys at face value, its extremely likely that the woman will choose the 2nd guy,
the guy with less testosterone
[this is based on studies.]
Really!? Why!
When women see cute babies, they say
"awww…" while poking them, don't they? Usually, these babies have sharper features, like big eyes, a small thin nose, and red lips.
They find that cute, in guys too.
Oh, but wait - you said that women like hot guys more than cute guys?
Are you confused?
During jahiliyyah, there was this girl that a guy knew. She'd ask him to hold his hand, but masha Allah he still never used to do it.
One day, she randomly said to him
"I like guys with big, strong hands."
He was like..
okay..??
The women who saw the picture of them 2 guys before, they were afterwards told to hold the hands of the two guys at separate times.
The majority of these women were drawn more towards the guy who had more testosterone in his body (the bodybuilder.) So the
tables turned, they were
more attracted towards the guy who had more testosterone in his body [the bodybuilder] - just by feeling his hand - than the more 'cuter' looking guy.
In Shamâ´il al-Muhammadiyyah (by Abû ‘Isâ at-Tirmidhî (d. 279 AH)) - there is a narration describing Allah's Messenger;
Alî bin Abû Tâlib (RA) said:
The Prophet, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam, was neither tall nor short. His hands and feet were heavy and thick. He had a large head, large bones and a long line of [fine] hair extending from his chest to navel. When he walked, he leant forward as if descending a slope. I have not seen anyone, before him or after him, who was comparable to him [2]
2 Reported by at-Tirmidhî [al-Manâqib]. The sentence, "His hands and feet were heavy and thick," along with the last sentence are reported by Bukhârı [al-Libâs] from Anas (RA).
Ibn Battâl said, 'His, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam, hand was fleshy, it was large and thick, but despite this it was soft as is established in the hadîth of Anas recorded in the Sahîh, "I have not touched silk, or silk brocade, that was softer than his hand, sallAllâhu `alayhi wa sallam,"…
May Allah make us like RasulAllah in every way, ameen.
So what is it, the bodybuilder or the 'cute' guy?
So what's happened now is that a woman doesn't just go for a guy based on looks alone, but
feeling a persons hand can even change her decision on who she would want to be with.
Why do they like the guy with more testosterone? The answer is that the reason why guys are more masculine is because of the fact that they have more testosterone in their body than females.
And the reason why females are different to males is because they have less testosterone in their body but have more oestrogen (a female chemical.)
So the more testosterone you have in your body – the more likely you'll be 'manly' (more like a male/masculine.)
The more oestrogen you have in your body – the more likely you'll be more like a female (feminine.)
The less you have of these hormones, the more you look like a baby or younger. That's because your body hasn't been affected by too much hormones.– so you're more 'cuter' than 'hotter'. Which isn't too bad.
Opposites attract, so a
more masculine man would probably like a more feminine woman, and vice versa. That's because the male (with a high level of testosterone) will have a stronger desire to be with a
more feminine (with more oestrogen) female [the same goes for the
female wanting a more masculine male, because of more desire (due to a high level of oestrogen in her body).]
Males also like cute looking girls, but they would prefer to have one who is also strongly feminine - depending on how high his level of testosterone is.
So that means a high oestrogen woman - she would be like an adult woman, with stronger feminine features. I won't go into depth on this issue for modesty purposes, but basically – you all know the concept of the 'hour glass figure'.
The Marriage Scale?
This is the choice of the people who get married, but it may be that getting married to a person who matches you on the opposite side of a scale is the better person to get married to.
Lets take a look at the scale:
F -4 -3 -2 -1 O 1 2 3 4 M
- 4 is a high oestrogen female, and 4 is a high testosterone male. and 2 & -2 is average.
Now you won't literally be able to know the exact number the person is on the scale, but as an example – if you can match your number. on the scale, and compare it to the other potential marriage partner – if you're on a similar number i.e. you're no. 2 (average male) and they're no.-2 (average female). You may be a match. You won't be able to touch each other obviously, but you will kinda get an idea by looking at them (i.e. hearing their voice, look, bodily features etc. if you are wanting to get married with the aid of a wali [guardian.])
What's the importance of this anyway? There needs to be compatibility within a marriage. There may be a brother who has a strong sex drive compared to a woman who doesn't have that level, and she may feel it's a burden to be in this type of marriage. It might also estimate whether a guy would want to get married again, because the woman may be pregnant and if he has a high level of testosterone – he may need to get married again to prevent himself from committing sin. Or he may have a lower level of testosterone so he can remain patient during this period.
A Happy Ending!?
Some people may be getting worried that they don't fit this strong role of being extremely masculine or extremely feminine, and they become scared that they won't be that really good 'hot' person they've wanted to be.
One thing I will tell you for a fact is that with time, a person does mature. So if you're young yet, then it doesn't mean that you won't be that person you've wanted to be. All you need to do is to have a healthy diet and to exercise so that you can mature properly to how you should be according to destiny insha Allah. Since the
healthy diet allows you to produce more 'healthier' hormones, and the
exercise helps you pump them around your body more easily.
Alpha!
If you are that extremely masculine or feminine person – then remember to fear Allah. Studies have shown that people who have this high level of hormones in their body, they are '
alpha' figures, which means that they are much more likely to have people attracted to them (more specifically if physical contact takes place) or even drawn more towards fitnah, and when this happens – they can fall into sin, so people don't trust them, and they are liable to punishment.
Sins remove blessings - So Allah can remove this goodness from you whenever He wills.
Why did I call this subtitle '
a happy ending'?
Bros, It's because you don't have to be this totally '
hot' person to be that 'chosen one', you can be '
cute' too. The truth and shocking thing is, the majority of women don't want to remain with an 'alpha' male, they want someone who they like, who is committed, someone who's
a nurturing figure, a reliable, caring male for a life partner for them and their kids. She also doesn't want an 'alpha male' because he might get married again, or she might have competition – that's a big no no for her. Therefore, by having an 'alpha' male, she'll fear to lose him, so she will prefer the one who is more committed.
And sisters, the majority of brothers want the same as you do, a caring, committed companion, and a lifetime partner. If a woman is that nex girl because she's really feminine – he's scared to lose you, so if he can't please her, or give her her true rights – then she could ask for a divorce (through khula') and get married to any another man – he doesn't want to go through that since guys feel gheerah (protective jealousy) over women – even if these women aren't theirs, so if he's clever – he'll pick the one he can survive with, besides he may prefer the more 'cuter' one because he feels shes on the 'same level as him'. If you can steal his heart – then he's yours to keep! Insha Allah.
jazakallah kulal khair!
and its a good teaching for youngest who will look after their body.
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