Re: Is it ok to.....?
Might I add some more to give you a clearer understanding..........
Question: Is it permissible in Islam to show sympathy to non-Muslims whose relatives have died by offering condolences,sending money and flowers?What about visiting their graves or attending their funerals?
It is lawful for a Muslim to offer condolences to a non-Muslim when he loses one of his loved ones, especially in cases where such an act will be of assistance in calling him to Islam. However, phrases containing invocations of mercy and forgiveness for the deceased should be avoided. He may use other phrases such as those calling for patience, guidance, or recovering from grief.
Joining in their funeral rites and religious services and attending the burial is unlawful. Allah did not allow His Prophet (peace be upon him) to perform funeral prayers on hypocrites or even beseech their forgiveness. Allah says: “Nor do thou ever pray for any of them that dies, not stand at his grave, for they rejected Allah and His Messenger, and died in a state of perverse rebellion.”
Allah says: “It is not fitting for the Prophet and those who believe that they should pray for forgiveness for polytheists, even though they be of kin, after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Fire.”
However, many scholars permit a Muslim to join in the funeral of his relatives from among the unbelievers, but not to pray for them or ask for mercy for him.
Visiting a non-Muslim’s grave is permissible if the intention is for exhorting others, but the visitor should not salute the deceased or pray for the deceased. The evidence for this is what Abû Hurayrah related that the Prophet (peace be upon him) visited his mother’s grave and cried and everyone around him cried, and he said: “I begged my Lord’s permission to let me ask for forgiveness for my mother, but He did not allow me to, and I begged His permission to allow me visit her grave and He allowed me. Visiting graves is a reminder of death.” [Sahîh Muslim]