Selam aleykum
JazakAllah khair, thanks for the quick reply. Also, just to rectify something, I didn't mean that in the second example I "fake" crying, I mean the tears are always genuine, and always out of a genuine sadness. Just that sometimes they are spontaneous when concentrating on the prayer, whereas in other times, they are the result of my mind wandering off. And then I feel guilty, because you're not supposed to wander off with your mind, but you're supposed to concentrate on the prayer. So then I think, If I'm not supposed to wander of, then the tears which result from that kind of thoughts, are not supposed to be there either? I dunno, it's complex, I can't describe the whole feeling + thoughts in words. anyway, like I said I suspect it's just the shaytan trying to mess with me when I'm most vulnerable.