im a muslim brother and i just seem so lost and dont enjoy life at all because of things that i have done and keep doin. i dont know how i got into this, i cant even remember how it started. i swear by allah's name i would have left her long time ago if she wasnt my family. but i love her so much and look at her with caring eyes but my love for her aint greater than my love for allah but i love her more than anything in this world. i would even take a bullet for her and always hopin she doesnt die before me so she can get a chance to repent but its not her fault at all its like its meant to happen. i was young and she was quite young aswell, the fact that i broke her virginity cannot leave me. and i promised her on allah's name that i will never leave her and that i will always be there for her. even if anything happens between me and her that i will always stay with her never ever marry anyone. the story is kinda complicated. but i worry so much i dont know what options i would leave her if i ever leave her. my whole face gets washed in tears sometimes when i think anything bad about her shes just my heart and i dont feel anything else about other girls i would rather be alone than being without her coz i know what she will go through. many nights i just lie down on my bed, and by any chance allah,s thought runs through my head i wont stop crying. and thinking what im gonna say to allah even makes me cry more. i dont know how to explain my love for allah. i believe in allah so much that i would think about allah most of my days and nights im becoming crazy you can say. i consider myself worthless and i dont have love for this duniya at all. but i just cant leave her, i cant even stay for a day without seing her. i care too much about her. i dont like seeing her in pain. i know people might find this disguisting but im being honest i dont know what to do. and if your sayin leave her i cant do that either. you can say i cant stay without her. everytime i think, what am i gonna say to allah? tears wash up my whole face. please help
Asalaamu Alaikum, My brother surely what you are doing is angering Allah and is totally forbidden. Would you want the same to happn to your daughter? Put yourself in the position of your brother would you approve if you found out what your daughter was getting upto with your brother? Surely this is a shameful act you are committing and you would not want the same for your daughter then why are you doing the same to your brothers daughter?
If you claim to love Allah more then would you not do anything to please him? Would you not leave anything which displeases the one you love more than anyone or anything? Surely then you should prove your love otherwise they are just empty words. Prove your love to Allah and leave your neice for you are going to ruin her life to.
Do you think your brother and family will approve of such a relationship? Do you think there is anyway of you and her being together? Not only will you ruin her life but you will ruin the life of your brother and your family. You will also ruin your akhirah. Do not think this will ruin yours and her life. Both of your hearts will heal with time and ask of Allah to put some solace and peace into your hearts but the longer you drag this the more painful it is going to be. You should hope Allah never reveals this for it will ruin all of your lives and your family will never look at you in the sameway again.
Therefore decide what is more important to you? Your own selfish lust and desires? Or the long term happiness of your neice, brother and family and most important of all the happiness and pleasure of Allah. As long as you stay with her you have the anger of Allah aswell as potentially scarring and ruining the lives of your family who will never want to even look at you in the same way again and would you blame them if they felt this way after they found out what you have been upto with your niece?
The choice is yours but whatever you do, do not try to justify or somehow try to find a loophole because there is no way you can ever be with her so you must wake up from this false dream and wake up into reality.
The reality is that what you are doing is totally forbidden and there is no excuse for it. You cannot say "It just happened". These things never just happen. They happen gradually through friendship first and then lead to more. You had no right to be-friend her and get so close to her in the first place especially as you both were young so inevitabley feelings will arise.
It is shaythan who is delluding you by telling you that this just happened by decree because it was meant to. NO it happened because you be-friended her and was free with her and therefore fell for her after getting close to her. If you had kept a distance as you should have done especially when you both were young then this would not have happened.
But now that it has happened we need to rectify the situation and the ONLY way to rectify it would be to cut off all contact with her and keep a distance. You may think "It is easy to say" but do you understand what is at stake here?
1. Your brother and family will never talk to you again and may even disown you forever.
2. Your niece will live a miserable existence if her family and parents found out. More so than if you ended things with her now.
3. You are angering Allah and if you die in this state then Allah will remain angry with you and you risk the grave punishment aswell as the fire of Jahannam
Are these three reasons not enough to make you cut off relations with her? If you truly care for her and if you truly love Allah like you claim you do then you must do the right thing and leave her immediatley. That is the ONLY way. Otherwise the more you drag this the worst it will get for you and her and your akhirah. So you know what the right thing is to do now.
Accept that you have done a big mistake by be-friending her and falling for her. Next step is to cut off all contact immediatley for you are doing it for her sake as well as your familys and most of all because it is angering Allah.
Next step sincere repentance with th intention of NEVER repeating such a major sin again. Cry to Allah and beg of his mercy and forgiveness and if your intentions are right and your repentance sincere then you will find Allah most merciful.
Next step let time heal your heart. In this time you must keep a distance from your niece even if it means you make excuses not to go around their house. It is very important you keep away lest you ignite a spark again. It will hurt for a while but time will heal your heart.
Strive to get closer to Allah and please him as much as you can and ask of him to give peace and solace to your heart and heal it quicker. Then in the future you will look back and think that you were just blinded by lust and that surely you were not thinking straight. When a person gets into these situations then most of the time their judgements are impaired by pure lust.
Therefore you must force yourself to wake up and think straight about this. You cannot live like this any longer and you cannot delay the inevitable. Act now for there is no time to waste. Prove your love to Allah by doing the right thing otherwie they are just empty words. If you need anymore advice or help then please do not hesitate to ask.
And Allah knows best in all matters
