anonymous
Anonymous User
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I have an anxiety disorder. I've dealt with this problem for years, did my best to survive the depression, but it feels like I'm always failing. The whole problem keeps making me lose faith, in everything...from myself, to my religion...The newest cause of my anxiety is horrifying. I recently watched a news report regarding a man who was suffering from the same anxiety conditions. One night, he came home drunk, and murdered his family.
After watching that, this panic came in again...what if...I end up like him? After that, I've been having nasty, violent nightmares. The images from my nightmares get stuck onto my head, and cause me to panic even more. I feel like I have definitely done SOMETHING bad to have the disgusting images/ thoughts keep coming in my head. I want them to go away, but the more I do, the more they come back. The thoughts are like a nasty whisper...the moment I feel really weak, or sad, they pop back in my head to mock me. I fight them off...they come back. A nasty cycle.
I'll admit this...for a few years now...I've slowly been losing faith, mainly because of my anxiety issues and a series of stuff happening to my family. I've recently started praying again...but I feel bad for praying, because I keep getting that "whisper" telling me that "you're just praying because you're in trouble"...and I get even more discouraged.
I just...wanted to get this off of my chest. If someone else dealt with having horrible nightmares, or disgusting thoughts/ images just pop into their heads...please tell me how you made them go away...please, pray for me. That's the most I can ask. To know that there's someone somewhere in the world helping me get rid of this nastiness coming from me would really make me feel better.
I'm more driven to be a better person now...but...the doubts just keep coming back...
After watching that, this panic came in again...what if...I end up like him? After that, I've been having nasty, violent nightmares. The images from my nightmares get stuck onto my head, and cause me to panic even more. I feel like I have definitely done SOMETHING bad to have the disgusting images/ thoughts keep coming in my head. I want them to go away, but the more I do, the more they come back. The thoughts are like a nasty whisper...the moment I feel really weak, or sad, they pop back in my head to mock me. I fight them off...they come back. A nasty cycle.
I'll admit this...for a few years now...I've slowly been losing faith, mainly because of my anxiety issues and a series of stuff happening to my family. I've recently started praying again...but I feel bad for praying, because I keep getting that "whisper" telling me that "you're just praying because you're in trouble"...and I get even more discouraged.
I just...wanted to get this off of my chest. If someone else dealt with having horrible nightmares, or disgusting thoughts/ images just pop into their heads...please tell me how you made them go away...please, pray for me. That's the most I can ask. To know that there's someone somewhere in the world helping me get rid of this nastiness coming from me would really make me feel better.
I'm more driven to be a better person now...but...the doubts just keep coming back...
