Salam.
If a man is in UK not working and is being supported by his wife for years and then he gets a job should he be supporting his wife and children first or his parents in Pakistan? His parents have another married son who lives with them.
Who has the most rights to a mans earnings from an islamic point of view?
Jazakallah khair
Islamically speaking, spending on his wife and children is a required obligation on the husband based on his ability. If he has enough, and his parents ask, then yes he is required to spend on them too, but spending is required first towards the wife and children, to satisfy all their basic and necessary needs of shelter, food, clothing, eduction etc. and second towards one's parents.
The correct view regarding this matter is based on the hadiths where the prophet -s.a.a.w.- says: "
The best a man would eat from is his earnings, and your children are from your earnings so eat from their earnings." (Abu Dawood, Tirmithi, Ibn Majeh and others) Also on the authority of Aisha -r.a.a.- she narrates that the prophet -s.a.a.w.- said: "
Your children are a provision for you, He (Allah) provides whom He wishes with females and whom He wishes with males, and their money is yours if you need it." (Muttafaqon Alaih Muslim and Bukhary) This was clear indication to people that they may indeed live off their children's income as long as they can support themselves, because based on another hadith, a person's money first and foremost goes to himself, and then his children, before being spent on anything or anyone else.
The hadith that Gossamar mentioned "
you and your money are for your father" is also supporting this (note it was classified weak), and was reported in a matter of a man wanting to collect a debt off his father and was told off by the prophet -s.a.a.w.-.
Just for information, scholars also agree that spending on grandparents and higher is also an obligation if they need it, but it's an obligation on the direct children first, before it passes on to grandchildren if children are incapable.
Now as far as the support of the wife is concerned, it is considered by unanimous view of scholars that it is NOT an obligation to spend on the husband, but is an obligation to spend on the children IF the father is unable to provide for them. If she does provide for the husband out of her free money, then that is an optional choice for her. Evidence derived from Quran "And who received a newborn
upon him bears provision of food and clothing in good terms" [2:233]
HOWEVER according to the majority of scholars, spending on the children can be regarded and treated as a debt that the father should pay back when times are better for him if his lack of provision was due to hard times and loss of income, or when he has returned to guidance if his lack of provision was of arrogance and neglect.
Therefore the wife is allowed to treat the money spent on the children during the years of hardship as a debt that the father needs to repay.
وقالوا في قول ثالث إن عجز الأب فالأولى أن لا يتكفف مع وجود قريب ينفق عليهما كالزوجة الموسرة والتي تعد أولى من غيرها بالإنفاق على زوجها وابنه من سائر الأقارب بما فيهم الجد لأب وترجع على الأب إذا أيسر.
That is the opinion of Hanbali and Hanafi scholars and others, whereas Maliki ones who see spending on children in case of inability of father as an expected obligation, should not go back on the father and treat it as a debt.
So after considering the above:
- The wife and children come first in spending.
- The parents of the man have a right in being spent on by their son if they need it or ask for it, and the wife may not object unless that spending is going to reduce the ability to provide the necessities for her and the children.
- the wife may demand that the debt is settled under realistic payment terms until she regains the wealth she used to support the children during this time.
Any further details of how to sort this exactly, you should meet with a scholar to solve it for you.
Wallahu 'AAlam
