Age of Marriage in Islam

[Labayk]

So we have Aisha saying she and the prophet consummated their marriage at age 9.
We already know that the prophet took Aisha to one of his houses at age 9 when she was still playing with dolls.
During the time she lived with the prophet she was still playing with dolls which was allowed to her only because she had not reached puberty.
Do we need to spell it to you?

Agnostic eh?

Like it's already been stated the quote you gave from Aisha (Radiallahu Anha) doesn't show that she was playing with dolls after nine. Even if it does, her playing with dolls after age nine wouldn't mean she didn't reach puberty at the age of nine.

Aisha herself said: "when a girl reaches the age of 9 then she is a woman". She said this about herself.

I mean, think about it, you are trying to imply that the Prophet (May God's Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him) consummated the marriage with Aisha before she reached puberty. If he is going to do that, then why would he wait three years? Obviously, something significant must have happened at the age of nine for him to stop waiting and consummate the marriage.

No need to spell it out for me.

 

[Eddy]

I think you might be misinterpreting Aisha. Her statement there is not explicitly clear about when she was playing with dolls. You assume that because she had mentioned that she had "played with dolls"

(The playing with the dolls and similar images is forbidden, but it was allowed for `Aisha at that time, as she was a little girl, not yet reached the age of puberty.) (Fath-ul-Bari page 143, Vol.13)

Tafsir Ibn Kathir

Allah the Exalted clarifies the waiting period of the woman in menopause. And that is the one whose menstruation has stopped due to her older age. Her `Iddah is three months instead of the three monthly cycles for those who menstruate, which is based upon the Ayah in (Surat) Al-Baqarah. [see 2:228] The same for the young, who have not reached the years of menstruation. Their `Iddah is three months like those in menopause. ...

I'm sorry if my curiosity is causing displeasure as explained by Muhammad.
I'm interested in studying and getting to know the real Islam.
I can get the answers in many other places but I figured this is an "Islamic Forum" so who better to give me answers about Islam.
My little research shows that Islam allows underage marriage.
The Tafsir by Ibn Kathir for Quran 65:4 seems very clear to me.
I'm an Agnostic, liberal and very western and in no way I condemn Islam for the rules emanating from Allah.
Why should Muslims feel ashamed or uncomfortable for the rules coming from your God?
Sorry again, I would not ask any questions in the future if that makes you uneasy.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I love to listen to informal debates from Speaker's Corner videos.
These debates are between Muslim apologists and polemicists usually against Christians.
None of them are scholars so the information can be deceiving since they are more interested in winning an argument and defending their own religion than arriving at the truth.
There are topics that are always addressed over and over.
The age of marriage in Islam is one of them and after all these debates it is still not clear to me.
My understanding is that there is no age of marriage in Islam but a few conditions must be met in order for a marriage to be lawful under Islam.
The most important thing is the age of the woman and that is determined by her psychological state, I mean, is she mentally mature to get married?
Then is the physical maturity.
Is she physically developed into a woman or is she still a child?
How does Islam determine both of those?
Is it just the decision of her parents?
Is puberty a factor?
Where is the information?
In the the Quran or the Hadith?

Greetings Eddy,

Firstly, we cannot judge the actions of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) nor anyone else of that era, nor the era before it and nor the era after it, using a moral compass that is only applicable to the modern society of today. How can anyone of the current era seek to impose current standards and moral judgments on practices that occurred over 1400 years ago, where the rules, standards and cultural norms were significantly different to the cultural rules, norms, standards and customs of today?

However, what we do know for sure is that child marriage was a completely normal and accepted practice in those days, not only in the society that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) lived in but many other societies in that era, the era before it and the era after it too. In fact, it is only in the last century or so that the age of marriage in the west has gone up to 16. In fact you will find that over 100 years ago many places including in the west Like the US for example had ages of consent from 7 to 10. [Arthur Siccan – ‘What’s Wrong in America: A Look at Troublesome Issues in Our Country’]

Even in many parts of the world even today including in some US states the minimum age of marriage is still 13. So how can anyone from today's societies accuse the people of the Prophet's (Peace be upon him) era and the era's before and the eras after it of low moral conduct and standards when many places in the world including the west had similar ages of consent over 100 years ago? Does this not wreak of double standards? There's obviously a nefarious agenda at play.

There are obviously differences of opinions as to exactly what age Aisha was when she was married to the Prophet (Peace be upon him), but what we do know for sure is that the marriage was only consummated once she reached the age of puberty. Let us look at some further facts throughout history with regards to child marriage:

- The last of the ten gurus in Sikhism, Guru Gobind Singh, married a 12-year-old girl called Mata Sundari. [D. D. Dhillon (1988). Sikhism Origin and Development.]

- Mary married Joseph when she was between the age of 12-14 and Joseph was 90. [Charles Souvay – St. Joseph – (1910) The Catholic Encyclopedia. Vol. 8.]

- Jewish law states that the age of consent for girls to marry is 12, regardless of whether they have reached puberty or not. However, the kiddushin (betrothal) can take place even before this age. [http://www.jewfaq.org/marriage.htm]

- Over 100 years ago in the US the age of consent was as low as 7 years of age. [Arthur Siccan – ‘What’s Wrong in America: A Look at Troublesome Issues in Our Country’]

- The age of consent today in Nigeria is 11, in Philippines it's 12 and in Japan its 13.

Colin Turner of the University of Durham Middle East Studies department explains the context of the Prophet’s (Peace be upon him) marriage:

A marriage between an older man and a young girl was customary among the Bedouins, as it still is in many societies across the world today. It was not unheard of in Muhammad’s time for boys and girls to be promised to each other in marriage almost as soon as they were born, particularly if the union was of direct political significance to the families concerned. However, such marriages were almost certainly not consummated until both parties had entered adulthood, which Arabs in the 7th century tended to reach at an earlier age than Westerners today. It is highly unlikely that Muhammad would have taken Aisha into his bed until she was at least in her early teens, which was wholly in keeping with the customs of the day, and in context not in the least improper.

Source: Turner, Colin. Islam: the basics, Routledge 2006, p. 34-35.

Likewise, Karen Armstrong writes:

There was no impropriety in Muhammad’s betrothal to Aisha. Marriages conducted in absentia to seal an alliance were often contracted at this time between adults and minors who were even younger than Aisha. This practice continued in Europe well into the early modern period. There was no question of consummating the marriage until Aisha reached puberty, when she would be married off like any other girl.

Source: Armstrong, Karen. Muhammad: a prophet for our time, Harper Collins 2006, p. 105.

Christian tradition records a similar marriage between the much older Joseph to the young Virgin Mary. The Catholic Encyclopaedia states:

A year after his wife’s death, as the priests announced through Judea that they wished to find in the tribe of Juda a respectable man to espouse Mary, then twelve to fourteen years of age. Joseph, who was at the time ninety years old, went up to Jerusalem among the candidates.

Source: Knight, Kevin. The Catholic Encyclopaedia. New Advent, 1995.

Therefore, to conclude, such accusations against the Prophet's (Peace be upon him) marriage to Aisha are very much a modern phenomenon. It was obvious that the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) had many enemies as did all the previous Prophet's before him. His enemies accused him of all sorts of terrible things. However, why do we not also judge him from what his enemies accused him of in that era? So, can you find any accusations of paedophilia from any of his enemies and critics at that time whilst he was alive? Or can you find such an accusations a hundred years after his death? How about 1000 years after his death? Ok let's get brave now. how about 1300 years after his death? There is no doubt that you will only find these allegations as something that has only come about in the last 100 years or so.

Considering everything stated above there is no doubt that there are double standards at play and a nefarious agenda to tarnish the name of the blessed Prophet (Peace be upon him). However, no matter how much the enemies of the Prophet and Islam try to tarnish his name, then Allah has protected him and has made him the best example for humanity to follow which is why he was voted the most influential person in the history of mankind and his example is why more people are reverting to Islam than any other faith, belief or religion on the face of this Earth!

 

[Muhammad]

Hello Eddy,

Tafsir Ibn Kathir

Allah the Exalted clarifies the waiting period of the woman in menopause. And that is the one whose menstruation has stopped due to her older age. Her `Iddah is three months instead of the three monthly cycles for those who menstruate, which is based upon the Ayah in (Surat) Al-Baqarah. [see 2:228] The same for the young, who have not reached the years of menstruation. Their `Iddah is three months like those in menopause. ...

Understanding of this issue needs a deeper study than simply looking at a few quotes, otherwise a person can easily draw conclusions that are not correct and which neglect the different types of marriages and maturities in Islamic law. There are various scenarios that have been discussed by the scholars based upon the texts of Islam: divorce that occurs prior to consummation and after consummation. Then there is the issue of what is meant by consummation - sometimes it can mean intercourse, other times it can mean seclusion of the couple. So, one way of understanding the issue at hand is that if a man married a girl who had not started menstruating as she was prepubescent and was then in seclusion with her - yet they did not have intercourse - then they got divorced, in that case she would observe an Iddah of three months, based upon the verse 65:4. However, those women that do not menstruate can include women who reached the age of maturity yet still did not menstruate due to a medical condition. The following sheds more light on this:

...the fact that a girl had not yet reached menarche was only evidence that she had yet to manifest the usual signs pertaining to legal majority—not that she was physically immature. A girl could technically still be considered mature based on other physical features, such as her biological age. With regard to this particular possibility, the leading Central Asian 12th-century jurist, Ali ibn Abu Bakr al- Marghinani (d. 1197), provided this legal context behind the above verse (65:4):

​

And similarly those who have attained puberty (balaghat) by age, but have not menstruated, based on the end of the verse [“And those who have not menstruated” (65:4)], meaning those who have reached puberty by age, but not by menstruation; [those who have attained puberty] by reaching the age of 15 years according to the opinion of both (Abu Yusuf and Muhammad ibn Hasan al-Shaybani) or 17 years according to the opinion of Abu Hanifah and Malik, but have not yet menstruated; when they divorce they observe a waiting period based on months as well. [Imam ibn al-Humam, Fath al-Qadir, Vol. 4 (n.d.), p. 280.]

​

It should be clear at this point that had Islam allowed for the sexual exploitation of children, many of these nuances would not exist. Case in point, the Qur’an would have never provided clarifications on the types of women who have waiting periods or even mention a ‘marriageable age’ to begin with if it allowed for any woman, regardless of maturity, to engage in sexual relations. And had jurists permitted such acts they too would never have bothered to distinguish between girls who were physically mature and those who were not. More importantly, however, had the Prophet ﷺ himself been perceived as promoting the exploitation of children, then said scholars would have simply considered the age of nine to be the only condition necessary for a young girl to be considered mature. However, the age of nine has never been mentioned as one of the conditions by which to judge maturity in the Islamic tradition. Rather, jurists derived a completely different understanding from the relationship between the Prophet ﷺ and Aisha (ra): that he had entered a contracted marriage with her when she was six years of age, and then consummated the marriage after she had reached maturity three years later. Simple logical deduction led scholars to conclude that if Islam allowed for the abuse of children, then the Prophet ﷺ would not have needed to wait three full years before finalizing his marriage—but he did wait. He waited because he knew that to do otherwise would have caused harm to his wife, and one of the principle objectives (maqasid) of Islamic law is “the prohibition of subjecting oneself to harm (darar) or causing harm to others (dirar). [Al-Shatibi, Muwafaqat, vol. 3/3, pp. 14-15.]​

Obviously, such nuance has been lost on Islamophobes, who in their utter desperation to impugn Islam and its followers, interpret certain passages of the Qur’an as condoning pedophilia or child abuse.

I'm sorry if my curiosity is causing displeasure as explained by Muhammad.

I'm interested in studying and getting to know the real Islam.
I can get the answers in many other places but I figured this is an "Islamic Forum" so who better to give me answers about Islam.
My little research shows that Islam allows underage marriage.
The Tafsir by Ibn Kathir for Quran 65:4 seems very clear to me.
I'm an Agnostic, liberal and very western and in no way I condemn Islam for the rules emanating from Allah.
Why should Muslims feel ashamed or uncomfortable for the rules coming from your God?
Sorry again, I would not ask any questions in the future if that makes you uneasy.

How thoughtful of you. But don't worry, we have entertained the 'curiosity' of numerous visitors to this forum before you, who made similar claims that they just wanted to know the 'real Islam'. And yet, when they had clearly made up their own minds and believed they had found contradictions in our texts despite being shown evidence to the contrary, we realised we were wasting our time. Still, we like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Had we felt in any way ashamed or uncomfortable with the teachings of our religion, we would not have allowed people like your good self to make more than 10 threads questioning them.

 

[Eddy]

So, one way of understanding the issue at hand is that if a man married a girl who had not started menstruating as she was prepubescent and was then in seclusion with her - yet they did not have intercourse - then they got divorced, in that case she would observe an Iddah of three months, based upon the verse 65:4.

Allow me to disagree a bit here.Based upon verse 65:4 the Iddah would be three months regardless of consummation and regardless of seclusion for women who have not yet menstruated.Consummation is not an issue according to Quran 65:4, menstruation is the issue here.The Quran uses menstruation as the only sign a woman has entered puberty.If they are married but she hasn't menstruated yet, it doesn't matter if they have consummated or not, thewaiting time would be the same (Three months).

With regard to this particular possibility, the leading Central Asian 12th-century jurist, Ali ibn Abu Bakr al- Marghinani (d. 1197), provided this legal context behind the above verse (65:4):And similarly those who have attained puberty (balaghat) by age, but have not menstruated,

"The age of Puberty" is nowhere part of Quran 65:4.The age of Puberty is described as the age a girl matures into a woman regardless of menstruation.That is logical and a scientific fact. Women start developing even before reaching menstruation but Quran 65:4 is far from using this "age of maturity" thing.Quran 65:4 uses menstruation to determine the waiting period.1) No menstruation (old women) = three month2) Regular menstruation (adult women) = three menstrual cycles3) Not menstruating yet (young girl) = Three month That's my understanding based on all reputable Islamic Scholars.

 

[Muhammad]

Hello Eddy,

Allow me to disagree a bit here.Based upon verse 65:4 the Iddah would be three months regardless of consummation and regardless of seclusion for women who have not yet menstruated.

Rulings of Islam are not based upon one piece of evidence in isolation, rather one needs to look at the teachings in a holistic manner, as I already mentioned above. The verse which shows that there is no Iddah prior to consummation is the following (interpretation of the meaning):

O you who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them [i.e., consummated the marriage], then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So provide for them and give them a gracious release. [Qur'an 33:49]

The Quran uses menstruation as the only sign a woman has entered puberty.

I think you are confusing different issues; we are not talking about signs of puberty here. The verse merely delivers a practical rule for determining the waiting period for a divorced woman who, for whatever reason, does not menstruate.

"The age of Puberty" is nowhere part of Quran 65:4.The age of Puberty is described as the age a girl matures into a woman regardless of menstruation.That is logical and a scientific fact. Women start developing even before reaching menstruation but Quran 65:4 is far from using this "age of maturity" thing.

The article does not state this as being part of the verse. It clearly states this is 'a legal context behind the verse', i.e. an interpretation and explanation of its meanings.

It is clear you have already been researching these issues and seem confident in your own study so I am not sure what your purpose of discussing this on an Islamic forum is. You claim you want to know 'the real Islam' yet you are quick to assume there are contradictions in our texts and feel at liberty to offer your own interpretations. One can only conclude you are here to bait people, which is unacceptable. Religion is not entertainment and one does not learn 'true Islam' by listening to debates from Speaker's corner or debating on forums online. It needs a sincere heart to begin with and serious study.

 

[Scimitar]

I love to listen to informal debates from Speaker's Corner videos.
These debates are between Muslim apologists and polemicists usually against Christians.
None of them are scholars so the information can be deceiving since they are more interested in winning an argument and defending their own religion than arriving at the truth…

so you came to a forum instead, hoping to find scholars

 

[Eddy]

It is clear you have already been researching these issues and seem confident in your own study so I am not sure what your purpose of discussing this on an Islamic forum

I had never heard of Quran 65:4 before starting this thread, nor the Aisha Hadith nor Quran 33:49.
I may sound confident by my way of writing but that is just your perception.

The verse which shows that there is no Iddah prior to consummation is the following (interpretation of the meaning):
O you who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them [i.e., consummated the marriage], then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So provide for them and give them a gracious release. [Qur'an 33:49]

So in light of this Quran verse it is now abundantly clear that Quran verse 65:4 refers exclusively to women who have already married and who have already consummated their marriage.
So the young woman (in Quran 65:4) who have not menstruated yet are women who have consummated their marriage. Otherwise they wouldn't have to wait three month.
So conclusion to the main question of this thread.
Does Islam allow Underage marriage?
Yes it does.
Then how is it not a single Muslim has responded "Yes" to this question?
We know that under Islam Marriage doesn't necessarily means consummation.
And as most Muslims have said consummation has to be done after the woman has reached puberty.
As some say puberty doesn't mean only menstruation but there is an "age of puberty" who can be used instead of menstruation to determine a woman is mature enough to get married.
Again, out of curiosity:
Where does it say that in the Quran or hadith?
Where is the clear statement that prohibits men to have sex with a prepubescent girl?

so you came to a forum instead, hoping to find scholars

No, I've been informed already that there are no scholars here.I came here for answers.
Are you suggesting that an Islamic Forum is not a good place to find answers about Islam?

 

[Muhammad]

So conclusion to the main question of this thread.
Does Islam allow Underage marriage?
Yes it does.
Then how is it not a single Muslim has responded "Yes" to this question?

Because firstly, the question itself is misleading. Underage according to whom? Secondly, it is not a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer. There is detail and nuance which have been alluded to earlier, but for some reason you have chosen to ignore all that. Thirdly, these issues relating to marriage and divorce, consummation and age of puberty etc. require a detailed understanding of Islamic Law which you cannot hope to attain through internet forums. Even your attempted summary shows you don't understand what's being said.

Again, out of curiosity:
Where does it say that in the Quran or hadith?
Where is the clear statement that prohibits men to have sex with a prepubescent girl?

Please see post #24 in addition to the other responses for important points with regards to this.

No, I've been informed already that there are no scholars here.I came here for answers.
Are you suggesting that an Islamic Forum is not a good place to find answers about Islam?

If you have a medical problem, do you ask on an internet forum? Most people would rather go to a qualified doctor and get the right treatment. Similarly, if you want basic information about Islam, you can ask on an Islamic forum but if you want detailed information about particulars of Islamic Law you should go to a scholar.

However, it seems you are not really here for answers. You admit you never heard of these verses and Ahadith before, yet you seem to be quoting and interpreting them with an agenda to prove a preconceived conclusion. If you have a genuine interest in Islam, there's enough information there to think about. If you are not actually interested in truth, we have better things to do with our time. To avoid going in circles and wasting time, I am closing this thread.